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Re: first stuff, go crazy plz!
Untitled (Firstly, always try and give your poem a title-It doesn't matter how bad you think it is, it just means people will take more notice and it will look ...
May 26, 2008 -
Re: Bubbling, chapter 5
Hey D- sorry I took so long getting around to review this. Things just seem to create themselves to distract me. But anyway, I'm babbling. Or bubbling, perhaps? That joke ...
May 25, 2008 -
Re: We Were Once Strangers
It would be a pleasure to review your poem Gahks. This was ruddy beautiful. Really, it- to use a well-worn expression 'took me off guard'. So understated, so heartfelt and ...
May 25, 2008 -
Re: Chasing Rainbows Chapter 3 (Revised)
Hey, sorry for the long wait. Let's jump straight in, shall we? From what I can see, this hasn't really changed that much from the last chapter I've critiqued. I ...
May 25, 2008 -
Re: I Might Weave a Wondrous Web
Hehe, love the title. Very...webby. So Poor Imp has pretty much outlined my problem- there's a strange word choice here and there, but then again, this is quite a peculiar ...
May 25, 2008 -
Re: The Tunnel
Hey, whoa I'm kinda tired but I just had to review this before I go to bed. This poem was great for the most part in my opinion, and the ...
May 24, 2008 -
Re: Love, Again
Hey neo_almighty, and let me be the first to say welcome to the Young Writers' society. It's a great place to come and develop as a writer and to have ...
May 24, 2008 -
Re: Budding love
The rhyme scheme in this piece earns a gold star from me. It's truly something to be beheld- even the way you slowly worked it around the beautiful yet simple ...
May 24, 2008 -
Re: Dream Catcher - Prologue
Hey DC622- welcome to YWS. This is a really promising start- the sort of voice that's always good in a prologue. I think I'm going to like reading this. Most ...
May 24, 2008 -
Re: An Unhappy Father’s Day
I'm with Miz on this one, there's just not enough emotion for me to care about this poem. It also sort of seems like the generic email you get every ...
May 24, 2008 -
Re: The Great Tree
Hey Redwing- I'm with you on the Math thing...I loath it so much. Well, actually it should be I loathed it, seeing as I don't do it anymore. Yay! Okay, ...
May 23, 2008 -
Re: Mistakes Never Forgotten
Hey Krupp. Hokay- well, Gahks has pretty much picked up on my biggest problem with this piece. There's too much telling- it's just really not subtle enough for my liking. ...
May 23, 2008 -
Re: Bubbling, chapter 4
Hey D, sorry it took so long for me to get around to reading this. I'm with lyrical sunshine- this is, the best chapter so far. I'm guessing this is ...
May 23, 2008 -
Re: Shadow Dancing
This earns a star in my book for it's enchanting reality, if you catch my drift. I'm going to forget that it has little direction or backbone, simply because I ...
May 23, 2008 -
Re: Wannabe
Yeah I agree with most of the posters here, I think you have a good start here to develop it into something deeper. The emotion's there, and it was a ...
May 23, 2008
