Ego

"His voice was slightly gravelly, giving it the effect of a constant growl. too many "ly"s there...sounds really weird to me. “A vampire?!” I gasped, “How could he be a ...

Already caught on to the biblical references eh....let's see how many you can find! (BTW, thank for the name change...)

*smacks forhead* Man, when I finally get my story up, you'll swear I stole your ideas. Shit.

aiight, well y'all lost me so bad I don't even want to be found!

Yay! Someone finally noticed that I'm still working on this! In the first thirty seconds of battle more than a hundred orcs fell to the blades by the blades of ...

Impossibly random, and pretty d*mn funny too. Surprisingly, it all makes total sense too... I especially like the random, strategically placed objects that make no sense. It's awesome.

that IS a revelation! Nicely put, even though I find the Mc-Chicken nugget comment ridiculously funny. The tone seems to switch around awfully fast...I dunno if it was intentional or ...

much easier to read now, thanks! Not necessarily, it depends on your own personal style and preference...

My stuff is always confusing...how the heck does that happen!? Now. Gabriel van Sant sat behind his desk, staring blankly at the papers in front of him. "We have perfect ...

yay, here's more for you... "Come on Hunter, let's at least explore a little while we're out and about," Mike begged. I turned to Aiden, expecting him to back me ...

Nearly a decade later... "Open fire!" Commander Marrek Lionheart bellowed to his men. Letting his own arrow fly, he heard the distinct twang of a hundred other bowstrings beside him. ...

Very nice Dusky, as always. I only have one thing, and that is this; In the second stanza, fifth line "I walk bforwards, It just seems like it is too ...

Do you still plan on abandoning this story? If so, I'd like permission to continue/ rewrite it... (credit to you for the idea of course)

The orcs moved toward the beleagured elf, brandishing their crude weapons. Yurok rised his swords, prepared to die as he had lived; as a champion defending all that was good. ...

I'll try to come up with something...but things are looking pretty grim for Yurok right about now...