Dynamo

I didn't see anything wrong with it spelling and grammar wise. This is a very good story, and I'm sure your girlfriend would definitly agree. Keep at it.

I see... I guess I really need to work on that. If I go through the story to edit everything I'll be sure to keep that in mind.

I needed an excuse to get him to go out into the city and see the hotel Eric and the others in the dream went to.

Wow, I thought everyone forgot about this story. Good to know some people like my stuff so much they'd dig it out of the archives just to read it again. ...

I was wondering when something Jediy would show up. Now that something interesting has happened I feel compelled to read more.

That's pretty good. I couldn't find anything wrong with the spelling or grammer. I'll try to read the others when I get the chance.

Didn't I write in the prologue what his age was? Hmm... maybe I forgot. Anyway, you could say Tylor is anywhere from 17-19 years old, somewhere around those lines. But ...

My friend told me what it meant once. SeeD stands for Sorceress Elite Elimination... something. I'm not quite sure what the last letter means. What I do know is that, ...

Heart of Darkness? I'm... so sorry.

As you can see, I've made up words for magical incantations. I've thought up a wide vocabulary of these words, but just to make things simpler I'll define the ones ...

I need someone to critic my work!!!

Ah, perhaps it is cliched but not in the sense you're speaking of. I got my inspiration to write this story from Eragon, that much is true. But that's not ...

SOMEBODY! ANYBODY! CRITIC MY WORK, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!

Let me guys, the white haired guy is Jiraiya, one of the three sennin. Very nice, I thought it was funny as hell. I only spotted on or two spelling ...

Now you're getting the hang of it.