DukeofWonderland

I'll say this is impressive work. The stanzas are kept short, but explain themseleves well. That helps to not 'kill the interest'. I love the way nothing makes sense till ...

The theme, and overall concept as per my opinion is good. The rhythmic pattern, seemed missing, even if you were trying a blank verse. I'd say, maybe the whole transitions ...

Sorry, And now I've even lost the list of sentences to improve -_- Okay, so I'll give a general overview. The first bit, till the bell rang, Liam's flow of ...

Hey! So my basic issue was the fact that any boy this age wouldn’t naturally speak in this way- I mean the writing’s too formal. But as a writer, it's ...

Okay....I read this in school with my friends all staring. I swear they hate Chris. BUT nehu, back to your piece. Your writing style, like always is good. But I ...

The golden light of the sun refracted through the window danced on the tiles, creating shadows of the various items in the corridor. “Finally, I’m alone. I can paint. I ...

Why did this never get featured? manush shob pagol. JAI hok, the grammar, flow, description, content, emotion, story plot, shob awesome silo- I still love this piece alot. You know ...

I have a no. of things to say: I didn't get the last para. Who's the guy in your avatar?- Just curious. 'the other tonight'- is sth else I don't ...

the epic-est part of this was that I understood, for once. Either my English sense has gotten better, or Lumi’s decided to spare the ppl with low reading IQ. Probably ...

A The I guess'd work better little girl stood in the enormous playground and looked at the school with utter amazement. Not only was she dazzled by the sheer size ...

Your writing style's like epic and du-uh you know that. And, you know, the story was like sad and stuff, but well, I'd go for a happy lie too, like ...

Look look at me and rejoice! hair is not brown and my skin is not white. how could it be? listen! in darkness, i was nothing, but then God said, ...

[ at the edge of a table ..... undecided a feather’s touch is enough; i will not breathe. It was once full, a warm embrace, moulded between my hands. This ...

The teacher said the list of names outloud,but mine was never mentioned twice. Here I felt a sudden lack of rhyming. But then after reading the next portion, it worked ...

I feel the first para had a lot of punctuation a little over whelming. at times. :) And when we meet under the frozen oak tree I'll i'll smile and ...