DiskElemental

Something in the green room that's not poetry, or chapter 7 of special teens' magical adventures? And it's written by Iggy? I guess I needed a few extra points anyway... ...

I don't really know what you're looking for in a critique. There's not much content, and what little there is, isn't particularly interesting. Your grammar is okay, in most places ...

I'm going to say it now and get it out of the way, this piece needs a whole lot of work before it's worth continuing. 1. "Daryl- “Don’t you love ...

I tried reading this, but I just couldn't. All my props go to Louis for actually finishing this. From the 15 (or so) lines, I managed to get through, my ...

Wow. Reminded me of "Gravity's Rainbow," in a very good way. I'm going to completely disagree with 100x, here, the manic, paragraph long sentences were hilarious and are what make ...

"As long as I could remember I lived by myself for pretty much all of my life for about 20 years." Holy department of redundancy department batman! You're using three ...

Full review available here: This is a decent piece of flash fiction, it accomplishes what it sets out to do, no more, no less. You had a few grammar and ...

Wut. "they may use money or the weakness of the other person." What does that even mean? Why using money to help someone else be a bad thing? How can ...

Full Comments here: Re-write this. The writing is clumsy, the plot is riddled with holes, and the character development is generic at best. You're using too many words and sentences ...

For some reason Titanpad really hates your formatting, so I'll do the line by line here. My comments are in red Reoccurring language problems are in green (more on those ...

Full critique here: As I said in my review thread, I have < 0 knowledge of reading and writing poetry, but I felt like this piece was fractured. The ideas ...

Full critique available here: Well done. If it seems like I'm nitpicking it's because I am. Overall this is a strong, well written story. You're using a lot of em ...

Full Critique here: I don't really know what to say about the plot, it felt more like the outline/bare bones of a story. You spend most of the story building ...

Here ya go. [quote=tgirly] Forget it. Forget everything. Forget the world, And your enemies. Forget the dawn, And the evening's glory, Forget to breathe, Forget to hurry. Forget the sun, ...

Full line by line can be found here: This is good, the feel of the writing is good, the descriptions are good, your characters are believable. But, as with anything ...