Derek

Well since a lot of people who haven't read the 2nd chapter might crit this. He isn't wearing formal clothes, they were wet and damp and was forced to change. ...

Thanks. If you read the chapter 1 of this (provided in the link) As you can see a poem is at the beginning of it. Every chapter will have a ...

Thanks again for all the supportive comments and reviews. Lynlyn- I know it went too fast XP. I generally have that issue with everything i write. I DESPISE beginnings, thus ...

Wow thanks so much for those reviews guy :D Really helpful, seriously. I'm almost finished with Chapter 2 ^^. I hope you'll crit that as well.

Not exactly what I was going for. Just because she essentially whored herself to a guy for two months for a $1000 was a bet, that seems just plain weird. ...

Well i put why the break up is occuring is in there. She dated him because of a bet, she said that and she said she broke up with him ...

Thanks for the reviews. I know it moved slightly fast but i didn't wanna spead a lot of time on there relationship seeing as its not of importance. I might ...

Well firstly, that is telling. I mean you've pretty much chucked the plot into my face. Secondly, a lot of fantasies/stories revolve aroud a good vs plot. What makes yours ...

Thank all of you for your reviews. I need to point out some things that i messed up. "we began unstoppable" That part was soposed to be he became unstoppable...sorry ...

I liked it. I wasn't bored, so that's a plus. The only part I really didn't like was when she thought that the boys only liked her for her body ...

Lol Yea i mean i haven't read all of your story Its jut really good lol i didn't know how else to say it :D Just take it as a ...

I'm pretty sure this was just a short story he wrote for fun and to test some of his writing skills its not gonna be a full blown seris or ...

Just wanted everyone to know the first 3 chapters will be titled 1: Vlora 2: Shields 3: Zeroun thease are the main characters and its kind of an intro to ...

She is not a genatic super soldier she use's Magitech which is technoly that has advance so far that a form a magic was created i will explain it in ...

Squallz hit upon the FFXIII trailer note... its like... word for word to action of the trailer. Most people cannot jump and spin in the air, let alone upside-down. That ...