Deifyance

Very Nice..... just make sure to have someone besides yourself proofread it. I found a few small mistakes such as ot instead of to. All in all.... Content was amazing, ...

The spacing here was better but not enough. Notice that you change paragraphs after someone is done talking. Wrong: "Blah blah blah" Said guy number1. "Blah blah blah" said guy ...

I agree with almost everyone above me. The first chapter was enough, but this seals it. Im hooked. I love how you can put together all the little peices and ...

Hey, im interested in these kinds of novels... just finished Corsair by Clive Clussler. I do hope you continue this, just add a tidy bit more detail and you'll be ...

Hey, awesome story. My only problem is that it is a bit rushed. I heard once that if its boring to you its boring to the reader. Try and spice ...

This....Is....AMAZING! I thought it was wonderful, write the next one fast! I couldn't find any errors except the = instead of the ' Awesome job, please P.M. me the link ...

Ahhh, another masterpeice.....sorta. I personally loved the chapter. I won't do the grammer because looks like Haruno got em all. So i'll go on content. First- I like how you ...

OK. I tryed my hardest to read, but there was so many grammar and other errors that i had to look away. I like your first paragraph though, it got ...

I liked it, very unoriginal idea. We need more of those. :D Good job, looks like Kiss got it all. But I did see one thing: They were huge and ...

Wow, nice work. Welcome to YWS, I like this peice, not only because im a avide christian, but I can see a whole novel branching from it. Very nice idea. ...

Wonderful, a bit confusing at first, but it made sence at the end. Wonderful writing! (Hurry up and post chap 2!!) :P :D ;) Looking foreward to it. The only ...

I thought it was pretty good, you definetly have talent! I like Sci-Fi, so I try--as hard as it may be, to review as much Sci-Fi as possible. I must ...

Whoa, I don't even know what to say. You write very uniquely (sp) your very creative and I like that. This must've taken some time to come up with. It's ...

Wow, I haven't read any of them, but now im going to. :D i have to say, this was absolutely awesome! Keep 'em coming! Now im going to go read ...

I thought it was a pretty good prologue. It seems to run a little fast and have some extra detail here, and not enough detail there. I liked the ending ...