DarkerSarah

This was well written, and Snoink, you can never have too many commas! Muwahahaha! with a paint roller in her hand, covering with a colour of rich mocha the memories ...

Isn't that too short, Snoink? It's nice and I'm interested about the Swans and such, but you could do a little more to make it more interesting. I love simple ...

Yes, this is very well written. I like the way you always leave something up to the imagination. It's good for short stories, but it wouldn't hold up in a ...

Well...I liked this...sort of. I liked the first part. No, the second part. The one AFTER the suicide note. It's the only one that made any sense to me. I'm ...

Um...yeah...it's good. It's definitely not an upper, that's for sure. It's really depressing and sad, but I like the way it's written, and it's an interesting read, period. Gives you ...

There were a few lines a liked a lot... the bus, mauled, into a twisted, burning, hulking wreck of steel twisted, and violently, too; on the ground, at its base, ...

I agree with Sam (who is increasingly convincing me she is lying about her age :lol: ) that it's not that this is too wordy, but you should break it ...

I liked this --but then I'm a bit biased, as I was in love with unicorns when I was little. Still am, really. I liked the way that you told ...

Erm...I didn't like this one near as much as I did the other one. It was void of emotion...like I was reading a list of action: Karen did this, then ...

This was a fairly enjoyable read. But I had several problems with the way it was written. For one, it was just a bunch of one liners put together. A ...

This is very, very good. The only thing I had a problem with is the last sentence. All the other stanzas seemed very strong to me, and that ending was ...

This is a very well written piece. It was crisp and smooth at the same time. You let the reader feel what the husband is feelings, while keeping the wife ...

I'm not a very good poetry critic, but I liked this. It wasn't fabulous, but it was good. I agree with Carmina that the best stanzas are the 3rd and ...

The story's very good, but you have several words misspelled and your capitalization is all off. It would be a good idea to edit your stories before posting, as it ...

Well, you said to post even if we didn't finish it or were bored with the story. So...here I go. Before I start, I'd like you to know that I ...