User avatar

CrimsonArrow

  • Article / Essay » General, General Re: Alex

    Hey, so first of all, I really liked it. It was a little bit confusing (I guess because I'm not really used to this form). But here are somethings I ...

    Oct 28, 2011
  • Article / Essay » General, General Re: Divine Drink

    Hey, so I enjoyed the essay, it was really enjoyable to read. I don't breakfast, you know. I'm not really sure what you're trying to say in this sentence. The ...

    Oct 21, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: The Reason for Rain: Chapter Three

    Hey, so I think this is a very good build up. But, I do think in the next chapter you should introduce the love intrest. The grammar and overall usage ...

    Oct 21, 2011
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Dancing In The Moonlight

    Hi, to start off, I didn't think it was absolutely terrible, in fact, it was quite memorable. There were some parts where, yeah, it was a little cheesy, but you ...

    Oct 15, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Sisterhood - Prologue

    I like the beginning of this story, it has a good set up. But in the last paragraph, I would try splitting it into two paragraphs. The grammar is good, ...

    Aug 20, 2011
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: .

    This is really good. I liked how you repeated the lines, to give it more emphasis. There are some places where I would of used a different word, but that's ...

    Aug 20, 2011
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Random...Thanks

    I enjoyed this, but I think you should space out stanza instead of just one huge mass of lines. Also, I think you should add some commas here and there, ...

    Aug 20, 2011
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: An Adventure In A Cave

    I liked this a lot, but there are a few places I'd like to discuss. She had been taking a quiet, moonlit stroll on the sands when it had suddenly ...

    Aug 20, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: The Garden

    I liked this poem, a lot. I didn't find any grammar errors, and they vocabulary you used was pretty good. I liked the kind of eerie essence you had, it ...

    Aug 20, 2011
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Midnight Dance

    This is a really good poem, and I can't write poetry so I really enjoy reading it. And this entertained me. I'm sure you know of pricey pretty places I ...

    Aug 18, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Im Too Young For Love

    I liked it, but I think it needs more of a plot which you could develop. Just this doesn't tell us anything about the characters or really the story at ...

    Aug 18, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: A Life All My Own

    This is a really good story overall. I don't think it's that long at all. And I really liked the part about the car not starting. I felt it added ...

    Aug 7, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Under The Tree's Tears Chapter 1

    It's very good. It has some grammar errors but other than that it is a good start. I actually have a chinchilla, his name is Chico. But he doesn't follow ...

    Jul 22, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: (help me come up with a title)

    The story was really good, I'm sorry I can't help you with a title, I'm not very good with that kind of stuff, sorry. But the story was good, you ...

    Jul 22, 2011
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Maybe...

    When I saw the poem, I thought, 'Wait, I thought this was dramatic poetry.' Because a lot of the dramatic poems are somewhat long, so I was a little surprised, ...

    Jul 22, 2011


I feel like it will be absolute hotdog water, but oh well. It's just a draft.
— Charm