Im Too Young For Love

Very nice. I like the simplicity of it. It was really nice. Is this a novel, or just a poem? I think it could be the beginning (like a prolouge or something) of a story, and that it would turn out really good. I like this, keep writing!

Okay, I loved this poem, but it was way too short. You need some more detail in here, I liked the analogy with the shoes. But, describe the girl. What I mean is say is we want to know why the character decided to become the girl's boyfriend, why the sudden change. It will help the reader understand a little more. Also, if you want this to be a novel made up of poems, then you need a lot more plot here. This kind of poem would be better by itself. What I'm trying to say is that you're being too general. You are just talking about how that character doesn't want to fall in love. Maybe consider some of these questions, and you can use them to make this poem more plot-filled: Did he have his heart broken earlier? Did that heart break cause this character to believe that he's too young? Is the girl different in some way? Could there possibly be a chance that the girl will make him change his mind?
Just a few things to consider. I hope this will help you in some way. But, overall I loved the poem, it flowed nicely and had some good figurative language. Keep on writing!

I read it. It only serves as an attention grabber- good message, though.

Hiya,
I'm a bit confused. Maybe I'm missing something, but if it's a poem, shouldn't it be in one of the poetry forums? Or if it's not, if it's a prologue or a diary entry or something, maybe make that obvious. Cause' it looked like just a poem to me. *shrugs*
I'm sorry, I suck at reviewing poetry so..

This is a first chapter?? Its good as an opening but I wouldn't use its as a chapter...maybe like a prologue?? I liked it!!

By the way it's 'I WILL leave love alone' not 'well'

hi... So I'll be reviewing your piece today... To start its a good piece... But the only thing is it's too short.. You should add more to it.. Like the first review i too will advice you too add some sort of a plot.. It's very bland right now.. by adding some sort of details it'll become much better... Otherwise I found it pretty good... Good job.. On making the improvements you would have a complete romantic masterpiece.. Best of luck with that...
Harshita:)

I think the title of this piece perfectly demonstrates everything that wrong with it.

You are too young for love and as such you don't really understand what it is so the sentiment in this piece does not come across as genuine. I'm 8 years older than you and I only have a vague idea what love is, its a complicated phenomena and can take years and many ghosts to grasp any real understanding and insight. Some people never do.

Writing should always come from a sincere place and derive from your own experience even if the subject matter is completely different to what you are. I have written from the perspective of a very old man but incorporated by ideas of loneliness into it to give it life. If there is no real emotion behind something people will not buy it.

Keep working on it and good luck.

Hello!

I just noticed some corrections:
"But.... Im To Young For Love." The "Im" is not punctuated. It should be "I'm" then the "To" must be "too."
"Dont Want Love." It must be "Don't" and not "Dont"

Overall I like the poem. Hope it helps. Keep writing!

Hi! I'm Kat and I'll be one of your reviewers today. Poetry's not my strong suite, even if it is in a novel, and I haven't reviewed in a million years. My critiques in the sentences are in bold.

"You Never Wear Them Because You don't Want To"

"Get Messed up" Get them messed up?

"Just like Your Heart You Don't
Want it To Get Hurt <3" I don't understand what the point of the heart is. It seems kind of an odd place to put it in the poem.

I'm pretty sure everyone else pointed out the grammatical errors that I saw and, frankfly, I'm too lazy to be a grammar nazi tonight.

My main issue with this was the grammar. It drove me crazy. We know you can spell these words but it seems like you're picking and choosing which ones you want to spell.

My other main issue was that it didn't really have any depth. You gave me no reason to care because of this. Show us, don't tell us. Give us examples. Describe how she told you she wanted to be friends and then how she switched to being more than that.

Overall: I think you have a good start. Work on your grammar and showing us, not telling us. I completely agree with you not being ready for love; I'm seventeen and I'm not ready, although I think it got me anyway.

Feel free to message me with any questions or if you need help!

-Kat

Well, I loved the idea, and yes, I am too young for love, even if I'm realizing a little late. Already been mentioned, I know, but you have so many typos!! Please, please edit before posting. Also, I don't see how in the world this is the first chapter of a novel. You gave no information, no plot, no real character, no setting. This was just emotion and repetition of the fact that you are too young for love and your reasons why. I need more. This could work for a prologue or the poem at the beginning of a novel, but as it is I really don't think it is a good first chapter.

I liked this, it was sweet and made me smile. I can agree with that, I'm too young for love. Haha.
Anyway. The only thing I saw wrong was in this line:

You Never Wear Them Becase You dont Want To

You Never Wear Them Becase You dont Want Them To

:p I like it. But you capitalize the first letter of each word and that kinda drives me nuts...

You Want Me To Be You're Friend.
Then You Want More Than That
To BeYou'reBestfriend (your)
Then You're Boy Friend (your) (boyfriend is one word)

I like the concept of your poem novel, but like mentioned previously, there are grammatical errors that need to be corrected. You can definitely write, but you may want to use spell check before posting your work. It takes away from your writing and can be potentially distracting to readers. Like mentioned by previous reviewers, I can't really picture this as a novel at the moment. Perhaps a poem in a novel or one of those quote-y things in front of each chapter of a novel or maybe even a prologue, but not a chapter of a novel. If it's in fact just a miscategorized poem, you can ask a mod to place it in the poetry section for you. Happy writing!

I need something MOOOOAAAR. More. I need more. There isn't much here beyond "I'm too young for love." Show us, let us feel it or something. Do this in your own sort of way, with some creative method rather then simply telling us EXACTLy what's going on. Paint us a picture. And many of us have either been in this position or can easily empathize, so you want to go beyond the obvious and give us something MORE. But. That being said, I can feel some raw emotion, however. I dunno, I just get the groove that you actually do know what you're talking about with this poem. If it's completely fiction or if you're actually currently experiencing such a dilemma, let us feel like it's real emotion regardless. I feel like you as a writer can do more with this poem, so rattle it around a bit.

There's nothing deeper than the superficial outside of this poem. Where's the deeper meaning?

Heya, my friend!
I love this, and you're right. You ARE too young for love, so stay in school!!!
Just one thing that I didn't see anyone else catch...

But You're StealStill Picking Up pieces Of You're Heart
I'm Just Too Young For Love.

This poem is very goo. I loved reading it!!! It was amazing!!

Hi there!

So I see everyone else already commented on the grammer and spelling errors, so I'm going to say what I like about this piece. My comments are in red.

YouWishYouHadThis wrote:I'm Just Too Young
For This.
I'm Just Too Young.
For Love.
I'm Just Too Young.
For Hurt.
I'm Just Too Young.
For Pain. I like the repetition here. It works well with the flow.
You Want Me To Be You're Friend.
Then You Want More Than That
To Be You're Bestfriend
Then You're Boy Friend I know how this feels.
But.... Im To Young For Love.
Dont Want Love. I like how you wrote about a problem and then responded to it.
I Well Leave Love alone.
Its like a new pair shoes
You Never Wear Them Becase You dont Want To
Get Messed up nice comparison here
Just like Your Heart You Don't
Want it To Get Hurt
But You're Steal Picking Up pieces To You're Heart good imagery
Im Just Too Young For Love.

It's a nice poem, but as the other comments stated, there are some grammar issues. Nothing too major, but you've been getting your/you're and to/too mixed up a bit too much.
Still a good idea. Nice stuff.

Hi frieeeeeeeend! ^_^ I love this poem so much, I can relate to it. It flows, I dunno, I loved it. Just doing a quick review, I spotted some weird things. xD But other than that is perfect.

YouWishYouHadThis wrote:I'm Just To Too Young.
For This.
I'm Just To Too Young.
For Love.
I'm Just To Too Young.
For Hurt.
I'm Just To Too Young.
For Pain.
You Want Me To Be You're Your Friend.
Then You Want More Than That
To Be You're Your Bestfriend
Then You're Your Boy Friend
But.... I'm To Young For Love.
Don't Want Love.
I Well Leave Love alone.
It's like a new pair shoes
You Never Wear Them Becase You dont Want To
Get Messed up
Just like Your Heart You Don't
Want it To Get Hurt
But You're Steal Picking Up pieces To You're Your Heart
I'm Just To Young For Love

I liked it, but I think it needs more of a plot which you could develop. Just this doesn't tell us anything about the characters or really the story at all. There are some spelling errors (just typos and what not) but overall it has a lot of potential and I would enjoy to see something really amazing come out of this.

ili Leave Love alone