Random...Thanks

Beautiful work! I love how your lines are only 3-6 words long. I think you should space it only ( not because I do not like the idea of cluttered work I think it is beautiful) but it has different groupings of ideas.

Example:

its a random piece of stuff
a collection of words
struggling to make sense
creating a meaning
finding... searching

a world of unknown
an interpretation of billions
we call it life
then start to question

we listen
we speak
we think
at the end
we decide
a decision to believe

Just as an example of how the pauses in your poem would allow the reader to feel and appreciate your beautiful words! Keep writing your doing an incredible job!

Hi there!

My comments/corrections are posted below in red.

chasingstars wrote:its it's a random piece of stuff
a collection of words
struggling to make sense
creating a meaning
finding... searching I feel like there should be more punctuation in these first five lines.
a world of unknown This line sounds better without the word 'of'.
an interpretation of billions Maybe you could add a period here or make a new stanza. It seems to just roll right from one idea to another. Split it up, make sure we can understand which lines are talking about which subject.
we call it life
then start to question
we listen
we speak
we think
at the end
we decide Great job with the repetition of 'we'.
a decision to believe
what others has have? to say?
confirming their thoughts
or making our own
we get confused
find our way out
there is good news
God speak to us
and it feels great
to know
that the One who knows it all
speaks to my heart.
Thank you Lord. I love this ending! I completely agree with what you've said.

I enjoyed this, but I think you should space out stanza instead of just one huge mass of lines. Also, I think you should add some commas here and there, to give the poem more life.But the grammar and vocabulary is really good and it kind of reminds me of something my friend would do or say. Anyways, I liked this poem, so keep writing.