CrazyBob

Yeah, I'm with you man. No one here seems to give a shit, and everything is reduced to grammatical criticsim or just plain "I don't get it". I've been scouring ...

Nice structure here. It's nice to see something a little different than the standard childhood poem, inapplicable to anyone. Sure brings back memories.

I thought it was pretty obvious this was a fantasy. Factories don't rape and kill people in real life. I believe the term is personification.

Makes me feel nostalgic. They don't make games like they used to, that's for sure. They're too easy nowadays. Nice, lightweight poem. Brings back some good memories.

The tone was somewhat flat and the rhyme scheme uneven. The ending, however, was nice and surprising. Downbeat endings are the way to go.

Likin it so far, not bad. A lot of description. Nice tone of dialogue

A bit too ambiguous, but I liked some sharp bits like "coarse bricks bombard me". You've got a keen ear for word-sounds. Nice work.

D.H. has some good short stories, I should read more of him.

A few familiar faces from the glory days of TYWC...Ahh, nostalgia.

A few familiar faces from the glory days of TYWC...Ahh, nostalgia.

Silly fun, all that, which has a place assuredly, but nothing that sticks with you.