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Re: The Adventures of Death and Plague (hidden scene)
your spelling of ridiculous is ridiculous, I feel as if I should ridicule it. I promise, I'll get Plato under wraps, maybe even tonight if I FEEL LIKE IT. or ...
Nov 14, 2012 -
Re: My Best Friend's a Ghost, Part 1 of chapter 2
I don't like it, the character interaction is stiff and the dialogue is wonky at best. The actions and reactions are unrealistic and the perspective switches from omniscient third person ...
Apr 13, 2012 -
Re: For Ever Free
Mmm... Good concept, but a lot of it doesn't make sense. Ever says she's going to set up a perimeter, Douglas says he's coming with.... then they both bed down ...
Jan 7, 2012 -
Re: Dressed with a Tie
You'd think that I would get used to your awesome work, but it keeps on surprising me. When you first showed this piece to me, I thought it was great, ...
Nov 27, 2011 -
Re: Sleeping Lovers
You might've already heard me say this, but I can't find much wrong with this. I think that it's one of the greatest things I've seen here, and that's saying ...
Nov 24, 2011 -
Re: Only the Strong Survive (ch. 1- Angelo)
I found a few things that bothered me. but if my experience says anything, or speaks for itself, than I look a little better. Then, not Than. “I’m captain of ...
Nov 22, 2011 -
Re: Ozone
I liked it! Until it ended with little to no explanation. I found that there was more of a Super-hero theme than a magical/wizard-y one. (although that may just be ...
Nov 4, 2011 -
Re: In The Shadows
Subtlety, a dangerous tool. However, I think you've used it correctly to create a unique character. I will admit that I did have a feeling of "what? that's it?". Maybe ...
Jul 19, 2011 -
Re: Do not enter
I'm comforted that this is part of a larger story, otherwise I would've had to dock large ammounts of points for throwing together random names and plot elements. I'm definitely ...
Jul 15, 2011 -
Re: The Angel's Fall
For all those NOT a fan of Renn's beautiful word weaving, the story that this poem is attached to can be found
Jul 11, 2011 -
Re: Hi, I'm agnostic.
I can't say I like it. I'm an agnostic with atheistic tendencies, and I can't agree with anything that was really said in your poem. I'm a little hurt by ...
May 5, 2011 -
Re: Animalistic
I like it, my only real confusion is about what it is. If it's a stand alone short story, it should either be longer, or have more questions answered. If ...
May 5, 2011 -
Re: Blood Lust
I've got a few things to say, but you may not like them. 1. I can't say I like the 'super human' nature of the character, snapping a sword in ...
Apr 25, 2011 -
Re: Freshly Fallen: Ch.1 'His Wish'
Holy, holy, holy... Quite literally. I'm pretty sure there's nothing on YWS like this, correct me if I'm wrong. I think that you've done an excellant job of providing mystery ...
Apr 16, 2011 -
Re: Ghost's Betrayal
I kind of agree with OOP, it's definitely in the "ehhh" section. first of all, It's "Spetsnaz" not "Spetznaz". Secondly, How do highly trained special force units just not see ...
Apr 2, 2011
