Cobra

You need to put in punctuation and grammar. Because you don't use it the story seems like gibberish. Also, add some suspense. You've just thrown in the part about the ...

These are really cool pieces of work, with lots of suspense and mystery, but the thing I want to know is: What happened? In the first piece, it leaves us ...

It's a good story, but the grammar's a bit shaky. Also, why would he just suddenly snap and kill Chris?(I know it's just a dream but it still seems a ...

This is a good piece of work and you could go somewhere with it, but it seems to me like you're lingering too much on description. You've explored every detail ...

This has some future potential but there are a few points that need to be sorted out first. For example, why would an assassin let someone live when it would ...

This has the potential to be a really great piece of work and you're a long way towards that. All I have to say for you to improve is to ...

Toast. Ilike toast. Toast is good. Sorry, what was I talking about? I must have been daydreaming. Probably about toast again. Mmm, toast... (Two hours later) Sorry, what? Oh yeah, ...

Overall a good piece but there are a few mistakes that you might want to correct. I'm new here too so no pressure. I might not even know what I'm ...

This is quite a good story, quite funny. But where exactly are you going to go with this? Is it a murder mystery? If so, good. I like murder mysteries. ...

yeah you need to develop your character more. We don't even know their name. Also, explaining the basis for your story would improve it a lot e.g Why are humans ...