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Hey Sureal, Gah! I love fiction incorporating Christian mythology. This is very short, so I don't have much to say. As Lynlyn pointed out, the grammar is spot on. If ...

Heya Sleepy! =) I guess my task is to make points that Prof. Rabbit didn't make. Dang! She was great, wasn't she? Melissa stood quietly by the door, out of ...

Hey randy! Welcome to YWS! attempting to return to a quite wonderful dream that involved several women and beer. Word order is off. "quite a" His employer had ordered him ...

Hey Jamie! Intro: The story starts in a strange place. You drop us down into the middle of a a big event and it's kind of awkward at first. Ooh, ...

Hey Mkuzek! First off, try to think of a more attention grabbing title. The title you have currently could be left as a note at the start of the post. ...

Ok, here I am! First, I must say that I hope you revised your first chapter with all those wonderful suggestions everyone gave you. I read it, and since you ...

This is loooong. For those less adventurous, post smaller pieces. Dissect this puppy up! But I am going to tackle it, just watch me! :D Intro : It's very common ...

Heya, writin! Love your username. ^_~ It's over. It's so over. Your smell of cheap cologne is nauseating. Your once lovable touch makes my skin crawl. I can't believe I ...

Ok, Curly, I'm gonna help you out with this like you asked! *cracks knuckles* ^_^ Kate slammed the door shut of her apartment and used the spare key to lock ...

Wow! What an opening line. Drags me in, that's for sure. Suddenly, in the corner of my vision, I see a light swim by me. Then there’s another, and another. ...

I just noticed that you said this was based off a Placebo song. I love Placebooo!! *tackle, glomp* Anywho... ^_^; I think the opening line is strange. "Only trouble is..." ...

I really liked it. But it did drag on, though I didn't find it that unpleasant... then again, Harper Lee only wrote one book in her life time. Might as ...

You're probably not getting any reviews because you're not reviewing in return. There's a big rule on this site: Before you post your own work, you need to review two ...

Hey Dem! Nah, he wants to have a calm[s]ful[/s] moment alone." I don't believe "calmful" is a word. At that kind of moments "moment" This is very, very short, and ...

Hey lhighton, The uniform, nearly completely back "Nearly completely" - two adverbs in a row. Looks bad. Also, typo there, should be black. Ebbe stood still, unmoved, for that is ...