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Re: Mayday Chapter 1
Hi! Change here to change your life! Get i,t get it? Okay I'll stop. So just from your first paragraph I see a lot of short sentences. Short sentences can ...
Sep 24, 2013 -
Re: Jonathon Six (Chapter One, Part One)
Here as requested! You're lucky you posted so close to review day, you'll gets lots of reviews for sure :) Remember ANYTHING I say is usually just suggestion and can ...
Sep 24, 2013 -
Re: The Diary and The Girl
Hey Paige! How are you? Review time :) She had many diaries. But, there was one diary with the cover worn slightly more than all the others. That diary was ...
Sep 22, 2013 -
Re: Sad Life
Hey! I'm gonna review this :) I usually review as I go so tell me if I start to babble. So yeah, the "your v.s. "you're" thing is really easy ...
Sep 18, 2013 -
Re: Just Another Love Scene That May Never Happen Again
Ay! Review time :) So to start off, this is marked and it seems to be written as a short story. Because of this I'm confused at why it's formatted ...
Sep 17, 2013 -
Re: His Last Moments
Review time :) Even though my eyes hurt I'm so tiredddd. Hope this helps. As if thinking the exact thing So this sounds a tiny bit weird. I think it ...
Sep 16, 2013 -
Re: Perfectly Imperfect: Chapter Two
WOOOOOO! Go time everybody! :) I covered my face with my eyes This is a funny image. But you mean hands right? without my face turning fifty shades of red ...
Sep 15, 2013 -
Re: My Worst Week (Part Two)
Hola! I'm back :) So Malachi fixed most of them but it's spelled "awhile" instead of "awile." I'm also a little distracted from the content by all the dialogue tags. ...
Sep 13, 2013 -
Re: Is It a Dream? Chapter 1 Confusion
Review time! Aren't you excited? :) Philip’s voice was deep and loud, especially at a time like this. Small thing, but I think this should be "too deep and too ...
Sep 13, 2013 -
Re: Descendant of the Dragon - Chapter 1
REVIEW SUCKAH!!!!! I mean hi. Okay so I didn't really find any grammar or structure things that needed to be fixed so that's great. I love all the names, they're ...
Sep 13, 2013 -
Re: As The Soul Sinks
HI! I'm gonna review this okay? :D The wind blows as the soul sinks slowly vanishing into nothing. So I think this is missing a comma. Depending on what you ...
Sep 12, 2013 -
Re: Perfect Men
Hi! I'm going to review this poem :) I've took a person I'm pretty sure this is improper. It should be "taken" instead of "took." I'm also not really sure ...
Sep 11, 2013 -
Re: Define Love
Define love. That's what most people find hardest to define. Love. This first part feels just a smidge redundant. I think you should start with "Love." and than say the ...
Sep 11, 2013 -
Re: Shadowdale - Chapter 1
AAAAHHHHH! :D Hey *nods all cool and stuff* Wat up. "I can't remember what my line is!"I sigh and roll my eyes sky wards. I think after the dialogue you ...
Sep 10, 2013 -
Re: Why Bother?
Here as requested. I hope you're not sorry you asked :D I'm that girl. I wanna be that girl. I've decided that it's time to give up. So these first ...
Sep 10, 2013
