Catalyn

I really liked the piece. One thing, in the line "The commandments you don’t abide?" I think the flow / rhythm would be better if you added a 'that' between ...

And I thought the emotion in Chapter 1 was good! The emotion in this is breath-taking. I don't know if you're drawing on personal experience or just making it up ...

OK, so I'm really drawn in. One quick fix: her mother is sitting beside her, grieving at the beginning and further down the bench, allowing personal space at the end. ...

I love how you stick to letter format despite it obviously being a poem. I like they way it's not any type of poem at all and you have lines ...

Overall I love the tone. Your character is a princess and yet she's being bullied by her own father. I such a short time, you introduce to us so much ...

It seems you have a similar problem as me (Too many characters, not enough stories). But back to Suzie. while you may not plan to ever do anything with Suzie ...

I'm not exactly sure what to categorize it as. It's lyrical and repetitive like a poem but written in more of a short story style with sentences and paragraphs. Whatever ...

After I finished reading it I felt very peaceful-which is what I'm guessing you were trying to do. Your use of ellipses left me a bit confused. This is a ...

I noticed some punctuation errors (there's no need to end every sentence with a period and some of your statements that end with question marks aren't actually questions). Some of ...

I spotted a few typos (kow instead now, etc.) In the line 'I supposed it's grown on me', I believe it would sound better as suppose (or that might just ...