Character Creation 2

It seems you have a similar problem as me (Too many characters, not enough stories).

But back to Suzie. while you may not plan to ever do anything with Suzie (write a story, etc.) I find it helps me to have a physical description. To me, it makes the character more real. It also seems like you're trying to give Suzie a few too many problems to overcome. You have a ton of very defining characteristics (abusive parents, drug-addicted mother, very fast XC runner, very shy, dyslexic, no father) Perhaps try picking 2 that seem to go together and redo Suzie.

I know Suzie not having a last name is part of the character, but you should know more things about her than you will ever use. This includes giving Suzie a personality beyond just being shy. What's her favorite color? Her favorite animal? Her fondest memory and why? Try answering some questions like these and you'll find that you know more about Suzie than you thought you did.

Suzie is a solid start fo a character, you just need to make her a person, not just a charcter before she's good to go. Good luck.

Jimmy here.

Howdy.

Thought I would pop in here and give ya my thoughts. Nothing wrong with getting opinions on characters right?

Two little things before I start that I say every time. I don't do grammar corrections. Not that there are really any here, but all the same I can't help ya. Second, I just say what I think. Don't take it too personally now.

OK, here we go. I will be jumping back and forth. Forgive me.

1) Everything from Illiterate down to dyslectic needs more context. Those aren't exactly physical descriptions so they need a little more explaining. I have no idea how therapist and counseling fit in there.

2) Ok, it doesn't make a lot of sense that shyness=special school. Usually, there is more going on there.

3) It has to be said, your writing style is very, very confusing. You are writing from a third person perspective. Everything else is jumbled. Incompletely sentences are all over the place.

4) Suzie needs a little more grounding in reality. Quite frankly, an individual with what appears to have an extreme anti-social disorder is not going to be winning any state/division championships. You have to be on a school team to compete and under the situation you've given us she would be competing in the special ed divisions.

Ok, I'm gonna wrap it up there. A few final notes.

Suzie has the workings of a great character. No doubt. But the fragmented way she is described here makes it hard to get a good overall feel for the character. I would make her description more fluid and put together.

Bring Suzie down to earth a bit. I know a North Carolina female high school running champ (dated her for a bit actually). She and almost every other star athlete I know is very popular. Make Suzie very, very good, but if you keep her out of the limelight then it is easier to maintain consistency with the rest of the description.

Good luck and Keep on a writing. Let me know if you need me to clarify anything or want any more help (I don't blame ya if you don't).

Cheers,

An apple.