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Re: Cycles Of Agony
I liked the poem, it was good, and I could feel the agony you were describing. My feeling are numb, This should be my feelings are numb or my feeling ...
Jul 12, 2011 -
Re: The Squirrel and the Fly- A Fable
Good job, it was short and cute. I noticed a few things, but the story was good the way it is, so feel free to ignore me. what the matter ...
Jul 12, 2011 -
Re: He said
So, I really was meaning to write a helpful review, but like everyone else said, this poem was just really good. "You'll never be alone." He said. I think this ...
Jul 12, 2011 -
Re: h
This was good, I liked the way you wrote in present tense, it really did make the story sound more graceful. You had a new paragraph for each sentence, which ...
Jul 12, 2011 -
Re: A Day On Daddy's Motorcycle
Good job, that was really sweet. I loved it. The line "Is like Christmas every once in a while" didn't fit the rhytm quite right, but overall, this was great. ...
Jul 6, 2011 -
Re: --
This was good, I really liked your revised version. However, the line, "for the fire burns when the tide turns." Didn't fit quite right. It just didn't match the rhythm. ...
Jul 6, 2011 -
Re: Ephemeral And Hard Working - That's Me!
Good job! I liked this, it made me laugh. I really enjoy reading from different points of view, and you don't often get to read about how an ant feels. ...
Jul 5, 2011 -
Re: Clown in the dark
This was good, I liked your open ending. You had good descriptions, but towards the end you didn't describe enough. And, you need to edit! There are several minor mistakes, ...
Jul 5, 2011 -
Re: The Clock
This story is great. It definitely is creepy. I agree that it is a little bit confusing, specifically this part didn't make a whole lot of sense. Even after reading ...
Jul 5, 2011 -
Re: Obsidian: A Tale of Africa
This is a great beginning. It was interesting and well written. Your style really gave me a feel for the two brothers, and it makes me want to keep reading. ...
Jul 3, 2011 -
Re: Don't be distracted by the sneezing (Working Title)
This was a great story idea. I love how you told it from the dragon's point of view, because it gives a feel for Sylvester's personality. There are a few ...
Jul 1, 2011 -
Re: Bunnies Are Evil
So, everybody else already commented on your mistakes, but even with the errors it was a great story. Someone mentioned Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and I definitely agree! ...
Jul 1, 2011 -
Re: .
This was a really interesting story, I liked it. There are a few places where you're missing some punctuation. Also, in the first paragraph you used the word "built" three ...
Jul 1, 2011
