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141,747 Literary Works • 675,673 Reviews
This was good, I really liked your revised version. However, the line, "for the fire burns when the tide turns." Didn't fit quite right. It just didn't match the rhythm. But, it was a good poem.
Keep writing.
I agree with her. THe words rhyming abit more would give it abit of a better flow but overall, its really good. Job Well Done!
Black Ink x.
I'll add this to my reading list and reserve a review space!
( returning the favor)
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-Jojo
I love it But I think the rhymes could be improved some. You made details and I love that so much!!!But could use some more.
~Pixie2~