I scrawled around aimlessly. I saw the others doing the same, hunting for food and talking between themselves. However, I was never part of their group as I was a loner. No-one ever bothered with me. I guess I was different from the rest of them…somehow.
I had been wandering around for days without food. Every time I scented some good sweet food, there where already thousand of other ants encircling it. Of course, they never made any space for me and left me watching them devour the good food. I was in despair. I didn’t know what to do. Why did they treat me like that? Every time I approached one of them for an answer, they would scuttle off in another direction.
Then one day, my luck fell from heaven just like that. A big droplet of milk fell right in front of me with a chunk of juicy bread in the middle. My first reflex was to quickly run for it before the others smelled it and invaded it. Suddenly and unfortunately, my delicious meal disappeared before I could even say “Robinson Crusoe”!
I was distressed. I hadn’t eaten in days and now that I had the chance, this gigantic hand just wiped away my meal. That was definitely too much. I angrily charged at the huge hand. After about an eternity, I got on it and slowly crawled till the top where it would see me clearly. The hand was violently moving on a computer keyboard, but I didn’t mind. I would make him listen to me.
I pulled back my head and counted till three. I was giving that horrible human a chance to notice me, but then, how could he? I was such a tiny creature. Well no matter how tiny I was, he certainly would notice me when I’d…
Bam! I did it. I plunged my teeth into his skin. I felt the human jump and then look at me.
“Aaargh! Get off me, you filthy ant!”
Ha! I thought. I definitely got him there. I knew that humans could be very dangerous to us ants but I didn’t move. I bravely stood there biting harder. I know it wasn’t totally fair on him as I was also angry and frustrated but I didn’t care…as long as I could hurt him. He, the cruel human who took away the consistent food I’d seen in days and was impatient to eat it.
Suddenly, I was flying. He sent me sprawling on the ground, falling more than 500 meters. Fortunately for me, I was still okay since I was an ant. I was about to scuttle on when I saw a shadow over me and before I could even move a leg…the human’s giant foot had ended my very existence.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Good job! I liked this, it made me laugh. I really enjoy reading from different points of view, and you don't often get to read about how an ant feels. You really made me feel sorry for the little ants, even though I hate ants! I didn't notice any mistakes, although this part didn't really make sense:
Should it be took away the only consistent food I'd seen? But, yeah, that is the only thingAweee, poor ant.
I couldn't really find any grammatical errors. Overall, good job!
The point of view was a good one, and this certainly was an enjoyable read.
aww, poor ant!
This was really well done and entertaining to read.
This is pretty funny. I'm guessing you got bitten by an ant earlier, then wrote a story about it from the ant's point of view. I personally think you can add a little more descriptions, but otherwise it's great.
i got bit by an ant today too!