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Hi there :) So.. I thought this was a good piece. However, I too think it could benefit from being broken up into separate stanzas. It can be quite difficult ...

Hi there.. I'm Coral. :) This was a really good story.. I love how you went from character to character, and made it really clear. You have great description in ...

Ignorance really is bliss. Great piece... I really like the last stanza.. I think I would try to take the depth to another level and perhaps add in some description. ...

I really, really like this piece. It's original and creative, and there's enough imagery to evoke some emotion. It's gently written, but carries a great deal of longing and sadness ...

Hi there, so.. I always thought that haiku was 5-7-5...perhaps this is an inverted style I haven't heard of? Also, it's technically a senyru, unless it's about nature. Other than ...

Hi there.. so I thought that this was quite good, but could be improved. I'm also with the previous reviewer in that I hope the story doesn't dissolve into a ...

Personally, I think this was very well written.. it's very well balanced, lots of personal details that add a lot to the story without overwhelming it. I love the character ...

I really liked this.. it seemed.. not quite raw, but real. Really real. :) It seemed genuine and realistic, something that everyone can relate to, even if they haven't been ...

Personally, I liked the repetition.. it seemed to apply to each line, and though I'm not a huge fan of repetition, it seemed to work in this piece. Honestly, I ...

I thought this was a sweetly written piece.. however, there are some things I would recommend changing. I would add in some description, emotionally. This is a pretty bare piece ...

Hi there.. so, this was really beautiful.. wonderful imagery and phrasing you have there. I love haiku sequences. But I loved this more than any others I have read. Gorgeous ...

Hi there.. so, I think this was good. However, I do think it could be even better with some imagery.. metaphors and descriptions, just a bit, not too much. The ...

I too didn't understand how the man found the telemarketer, especially when he would be in a huge office with other people. This might work better with a door-to-door salesman. ...

This was beautifully penned.. it has a natural flow.. I don't mean smooth here, though it was smooth, but I mean.. the flow itself reflected natural rhythms.. I don't know ...

Love it. Absolutely love it. The name drew me in. Though this is actually senryu. Aren't I particular? :) Anywho. Awesome piece. Love how you never actually say the word ...