Bubbly bursts of laughter
like many other nights spent together.
My bestest friend, Taylor R.
I wrote this piece about a very close friend of mine. I decided to post it because she is on this website as well, and I thought I should make the poem I wrote for her public. I love you, Tay.
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125,009 Literary Works • 672,837 Reviews
As many other people have said;
1. this isn't a Haiku.
Now for what I think of it.
I don't really think that it flows that well... but I love the concept behind her because it's really sweet writing poetry for a friend. Even so, I think that this has nice foundations, but could be built on more,
Keep writing,
~Crimson
Hey there, Kiicoh!
Uh-oh! Haikus are known for there 5-7-5 line scheme. This means there are five syllables on the first line, seven syllables on the second line, and five more on the third line. There are no 'alternate haikus.' If you want to call this a haiku, you will need to follow the 5-7-5 scheme. Otherwise, it's just a three line poem.
It actually isn't too hard to create a haiku; you just need to think a bit harder than usual and choose your words carefully. Here are some great websites on haiku writing:
http://startag.tripod.com/HkTips.html (Some great tips on modern haiku schemes)
http://writinghood.com/style/how-to/hai ... ood-haiku/ (Written by a writer)
Now, for the poem. I don't think the first two lines blend all that well together at all, because in my mind, they didn't quite make sense. If I were you, I would work on fixing the structure of my poem to actually make it a haiku and also making sure it makes sense.
Hope this helps,
Mizzle
I also thought it was was five syllables, seven, and then five again.
I really like this poem, but because it is so short it is hard to review. The only complaint I have is that your first line "bubbly bursts of laughter" makes it seem that you never talk about the serious things. You are the kind of friends that keep it low key and random. But, this poem really is just for your friend, or it seems that way, so it really only needs to make sense to her.
Sorry I didn't help much,
A. S.
Hi there, so..
I always thought that haiku was 5-7-5...perhaps this is an inverted style I haven't heard of?
Also, it's technically a senyru, unless it's about nature.
Other than technicalities, I really like the concept behind it. Very sweet poem and thoughts behind it.
-Coral-