Brian

I think you mean "upholstery" instead of "apolstery." If I were to use one word to describe this poem, it would be "creeeeeeeeeepy." Perhaps this is a poem about a ...

The first stanza makes sense, and so does the last. But the middle two I can't make heads or tails out of. Why is the little boy crying? Is it ...

Yes, fix that one sentence. I have no idea what you're trying to say with it; in part because of the atrocious grammar in that sentence. What drew me in ...

The London Bridge reference is quite abrupt and odd. I can kind of see why you added it in, but it only serves to detract from the poem. The imagery ...

Aye, I thought it was supposed to be humorous as well. That comes from the rhyming scheme and the quick pace of the poem. To slow it down, get rid ...

You're from India? That's awesome! YWS is really becoming international rather than just American, which is a really good thing. Anyways... I really liked your story. There were some issues ...

The tone is inconsistent. You utilize a lot of short sentences, but you keep on switching back to long ones. That's not a bad thing, but the tone you're striving ...

It's best to just ignore, or laugh at, psylynx :) I thought this joke was pretty funny. Of course, I think it applies to all politicians :P

I thought that this was really, really good. Your descriptions (e.g., pixelated) and word choice (e.g., ostentatious) are well done and add significantly to the overall feel of the poem. ...

I would get rid of: "with my skin all black and blue." Prior to this line, everything seemed rather poetic and eloquent, but this line made it trivial. It's also ...

I agree with Liz on the commas thing; you don't always need a comma at the end of a line, and too many will detract from the poem. There's a ...

I think you'll get a lot more critiques if you take the time to space out the paragraphs. Firstly, get rid of the chapters. There's no need for them in ...

The first five lines are great; the rythym and beat move along very nicely. However, the sixth line seems out of place. The line itself meets the rhyming scheme, but ...

It's a very good, simple poem. It managed to evoke imagery of a school fight without ever mentioning such a fight. I'm pretty much echoing what everyone else has said, ...

I like the first one better; it's more concise and doesn't contain as much fluff as the first one. However, you do need to proofread it. For instance, "beautiful" is ...