Boni_Bee

Awww, the first part was nice, and then you had to go and explain the end! :( was a good beginning, and could make a good storie if you forget ...

I enjoyed this, but I can't add much to what the others said. The Brotherhood description was too long, so I didn't read it, but the rest was good. Yeah, ...

My entire life had literally come down to this moment. I felt the examiners eyes follow my every movement of my body. That last sentence is a bit awkward, how ...

Wow, this was a very stark really caught my attention. The 'Dear Diary' start to each stanza was nice, and sort of brought it into context a bit more. Good ...

I'd slightly duck down to fit Through the small gap; The entrance to My hide away place. 'I'd duck down slightly to fit' sounds a bit better This was nice. ...

I know it’s been more than a year since we last talked, and well I was missing you? That line doesn't work somehow, but the rest.......was awesome!!! I really like ...

Grandma Grandma was a smallish woman with white fluffy hair and chocolate-brown eyes. She always dressed in a skirt and blouse, and a large cardigan with numerous pockets. Charlotte loved ...

“Some mother you were,” she had said faintly. Does the g.irl or the mom say that??? This is interesting, but I'm not sure that its going anywhere. Everything is introduced ...

Descending into darkness. “Mum! Help me! Where are you? ” With arms and legs flailing, she tumbled helplessly into the pits of hell. Fire burned her soul and droplets of ...

Striking poem...usually war poems are all very similar, but I think this one is somehow different, although I can't explain how... Anyway, good job, and, as zelithon will be in ...

Wow, I can really relate to this poem!!! It was nice a short and sweet, and I don't think I could have done it any better....lol...we must have something in ...

She was chasing me now. I hopped I had lost her by now, but she seemed to always find me. I jumped another fence. I think its; 'I hoped I ...

This was interesting!!! :D The only thing I'll point out is that in the first stanza, it says you're sitting under a rock, and then the next lines say you're ...

I think this was very good :D I didn't notice any 'break's, where the others did. I like the last line. Great job :wink:

Nice!!! :D It was verry good and expressive, even though its only four lines!!! :wink: