Of Lavender and Shooting Stars

by mystical*dragons

Published December 6, 2005

Sorry...taking this off...

Comments & reviews · 10
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smaur
Review
smaur wrote a review Review · Feb 2, 2006

Oh, this is gorgeously written. There are a couple of grammatical errors (it's the commas; they're the kiss of death, or something close enough) and a few words/sentences that jar the sound/atmosphere that the rest of the piece creates (the word nonetheless completely kills the last sentence), but I'll strangle my inner editor into silence (well, sort-of silence) for this one because I'm thinking a few out-of-place commas don't matter in the long run for this piece. (You didn't, I assume, post it so we could pick apart the sentence structure.) Like Snoink, I don't think the emotional oomph has quite carried across, but it's a lovely piece of word candy, which is enough. Good stuff.

(And if the distance between the two of you is wide enough, I do sort of think you should send it. Because, if he's not the kind of person to flout the letter, the potential gain outweighs the potential loss. And, if nothing else — well, it's a very pretty letter.)

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Tazy
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Tazy commented Comment · Jan 20, 2006

Very interesting it captivated me. I just couldnt stop reading the imegrey was fantstic.

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diamond_eyes
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diamond_eyes commented Comment · Jan 12, 2006

wow thats a sad story, but sad ending for u... :cry: even tho there was no kisses and that kind of stuff it was soo romantic...it was great! :)

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diamond_eyes
Review
diamond_eyes wrote a review Review · Jan 12, 2006

wow thats a sad story, but sad ending for u... :cry: even tho there was no kisses and that kind of stuff it was soo romantic...it was great! :)

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Angel17
Review
Angel17 wrote a review Review · Dec 22, 2005

I really loved it. I loved the imagery in the words. I didn't really like some of the parts about the angels at the end though, i didn't think all fit. I loved this line about angels though.

I hear them sometimes; they comfort me, when thoughts and memories of you do not.


I didn't like this line so much though.
Do you hear the angels whispering? I hear them sometimes


Overall i loved this piece if writing, i really felt your words. :)

mystical*dragons commented Comment · Dec 22, 2005

Thanks Snoink :)

Send it to him? No way, he'd never understand. Oh well...

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Snoink
Review
Snoink wrote a review Review · Dec 16, 2005

Oh dear...

I feel like I'm getting more apathetic each day. This hardly did anything for me. :(

But still...

Why don't you send it to him anyway, just for kicks? Who knows what could happen...

mystical*dragons commented Comment · Dec 16, 2005

Hi there,
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on this piece. I'm glad you guys liked it :D

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Crayon
Review
Crayon wrote a review Review · Dec 8, 2005

:cry: So Sad! i really could image somebody crying over love letters...watching shooting stars! its really great and im sure everybody can relate to it! So apart from the fact that i almost started bawling in the middle of computer class i think its great =D>

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Boni_Bee
Review
Boni_Bee wrote a review Review · Dec 6, 2005

silver*glitter wrote:I know it’s been more than a year since we last talked, and well I was missing you?


That line doesn't work somehow, but the rest.......was awesome!!! I really like the imagery, and it didn't seem cliche to me like most stories like this do. Interesting... :D Its a very grown-up piece of work.... :wink: lol....

Good job 8)



The first draft is a trip to the amusement park. The next drafts are returning there as a safety inspector.
— SunsetTree