The Black Rose wrote:I'm sorry I shouted, it was a bad day... but yeah...
I shoulda called them earth boots but... lol... she was still floating.
Earth boots? NO! 'Tis horrible!
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I sit under a rock today
I glare up at the sun
When suddenly from under me
The rock shakes and quivers
And then rockets towards the sky
It's the oddest Wednesday of the year
As I float on over to school
The hovering-buses are delivering children
And Mr. Madison is walking his flying fish
[bah-boom, Tish... Ha-ha...]
My pencils during the test fly away
as well as my test
Up into the air they soar, and with a keen hand
I write my answers in midair
At lunch the Populars declared a food fight,
but as they lifted up their mashed potatoes
And threw them at me
I blew like the Big Bad Wolf
And it was actually quite a treat to see them
Covered with toxic meat and quite edible
At art we tried to paint murals
A dedication to our school
But the reds and blues and yellows kept floating up
And soon the room was the mural
The art teacher, eccentric they all are, loved it
After school a car, soaring 60 miles per hour
nearly hit me while I was tying my moon boots
(Just another fancy word for hard kickin' boots)
I watched some television and lost the remote
It was stuck between the lightbulbs in the fan again
Later that night I flew on over to a friends birthday party.
We sang "Happy birthday!" she blew on her candles
And the cake followed with it, crashing against her little brother's face
(His frosted expression was as cold as ice cream
So we began to eat off his face)
At night I got cold again, my dad didn't turn on the heat
My bed kept hovering towards the ceiling, crushing me
So that night I slept with the matresses to the ceiling
And my covers near the floor
(And the next day I got squished)
I know, I know, tis terrible, but I don't care... I'm bored in Computer class so I decided to enter this. No such luck as last week I bet, but this is still fun. Fun!
The Black Rose wrote:I'm sorry I shouted, it was a bad day... but yeah...
I shoulda called them earth boots but... lol... she was still floating.
I'm sorry I shouted, it was a bad day... but yeah...
I shoulda called them earth boots but... lol... she was still floating.
I like both the poem and Niobe's prose.
It's just such a cool idea to have the whole room as the mural.
The Black Rose wrote:I didn't read hers until AFTER MY GODDAMN POEM!
wtf is everybody accusing me of copying them? GODDAMNIT
FINE I'LL DEFINE DAMN MOON BOOTS!
This was interesting!!! The only thing I'll point out is that in the first stanza, it says you're sitting under a rock, and then the next lines say you're sitting on the rock.... ?
I didn't read hers until AFTER MY GODDAMN POEM!
wtf is everybody accusing me of copying them? GODDAMNIT
FINE I'LL DEFINE DAMN MOON BOOTS!
Wednesday is spelled wrong in the first line of the second stanza.
"And it was actually quite a treat to see them digestive "
Do you mean digested? Even so, I don't quite get it as it sounded like you were just blowing all the mashed potatoes away.
"nearly hit me while I was tying my moon boots"
You never explain what 'moon boots' are, and it sounds like you got the idea for them from Niobe's entry for the writing challenge.
In any case, I really liked this. Thought it was really funny, and you did a great job of explaining each scene of the day. Your flow is pretty good, and, all in all, it's great.
Really liked it!
Hmm.. In my story No Gravity Day was every Wednesday.. Anywho I loved it! Especially the first three stanzas.
Hahaha
Thank's alot.
I wish the artroom, which is right over there *points left* woul dbe as pretty as I imagined here...
Yay for hyperness!
I'm in a really hyper mood and this had me laughing... a lot...
This was probably my favorite stanza:
At art we tried to paint murals
A dedication to our school
But the reds and blues and yellows kept floating up
And soon the room was the mural
The art teacher, eccentric they all are, loved it
It's just such a cool idea to have the whole room as the mural.
Points: 890
Reviews: 71
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