BloodStainedWhite

I know this is meant to be a lyric so it is hard to judge this on solely the text. Personally this is a little angry for my liking and ...

Hey, I liked it. Even though one person commented on how your first stanza sounded like the speaker was a robot, I thought it commented on how you were feeling. ...

Uh dude just so you know: you can't have the sun on your back and a shadow trailing behind you. It's just can't happen. Sorry to start of pointing that ...

Really nice. I seriously enjoyed the feel of the poem. Your use of metaphor in both the grand narrative and individual lines was well thought out and in general it ...

I think the best thing you could do is read over your work once you've written it, because the spelling mistakes distract the reader and make the poem far less ...