Blink

Yo, Roxy :) Just in case you haven't been told, we do have a rule that means you must review at least two things before submitting your own work. You ...

Alrighty ^_^ Dark rain was falling thickly upon the dank streets, How does "dark rain" "fall quickly"? And what makes the street "dank"? Get rid of all the adjectives and ...

Hello. ^_^ "Who really even likes the water?" The "really even" part is a little annoying and difficult to read for a first line. I'd get rid of "really", to ...

Hello there. :) Just so you know, 2-3000 words is fairly typical here, so don't worry about this length. And remember, if you change the title, do tell us! Otherwise ...

You've had like, no crits. Now that will not do. =) That was not all they would do to him, especially since he was so small, and the renegades were ...

Ahem. I insist on being first reviewer. And by the way, I don't just sit at the home page refreshing until the next instalment comes up. Honest. The hall echoed ...

Hey Clo. Repaying the favour =) The mountains were too squat Too squat for what? I've noticed a few instances throughout in which you show a word that could make ...

Hey ^_^ I tend not to come over here very often--Romance, that is. But I'll see what I can say. I remember it like it was yesterday. This is a ...

Hello ^^ I have no idea what nitpicks everyone else has pointed out - ignore any I repeat - other than these: The windowsill protruded far from the wall and ...

Yo, Pandapez! It was a beautiful day. The sky was the palest of blues, with not a cloud in sight. All throughout the market, people were in unusually high spirits. ...

It's back ^.^ learnt as Rasoon and Jaffe His name, or the wording of the sentence, made me think it said "learnt as soon and". I'd just swap around the ...

I've returned =) . Right, I find that although the flow is lovely, I'm going to contradict myself. We read "about something" over and over again, right through until the ...

Hey Dem, here by request :). Hmm... YWS just ate my review. Let's try again. Anyway, because I'm going to be of little use here, I'll go ahead and look ...

Firstly, you've posted three poems according to your portfolio, and have only reviewed twice. Please correct that, and get out to review! It's more a case of paying to back ...

Why, hello there =). He smells like broken windows and rain puddles. I like the imagery at the end, but what does a broken window smell like? Glass? What does ...