BigBadBear

That was really good, Jabber. You made it seem really realistic. Since you are the grammar expert, I couldn't pick up on any grammar issues, so I guess I only ...

omg u r lyk not a vry gud writer. XD Priceless. Anywho, *sorry if I repeat anything that the other's have said. I haven't read theirs because I have to ...

cool! Well, I usually don't read poetry because it bores me, but this didn't. And I was surprised at how descriptive you were. *tries desperately to find something wrong with ...

Wow. How terribly sad... “The Cheetos weren’t for me,” he continued. “Amanda, my wife, just has this fetish for them. Ever since our first date when I found out how ...

Hehe. That was funny. Well, I haven't read any of the other comments because I'm running a little short on time, but I want to say this: THIS STORY ROCKS! ...

Hey! This was MUCH better than the prolouge. I really liked this. It was action packed and fun. Now, to answer some of your questions: Oh! One more thing. I ...

Hey! Sorry it took me so long to finally get to this! Ok, when I first read this I thought, "Wow. This was pretty good. I want to read more." ...

Holy cow. You have a lot of crits on this. So, for the sake of not being repetitive, I won't point out any grammar stuff. Well, that was... different. XD ...

Sorry it took me so long! I like to crit short chapters, then I'll move to longer ones. So... yeah. You didn't need to know that: You have a very ...

Hey, Alzz! This was a good start. This could really turn into something. No grammar errors, just the whole plot basically. Spend more time with each different section. For the ...

Hey, Slinds! I'm back! One question: Why are the dialouge paragraphs not broken up? The rest of your story wasn't... it just seemed odd. Anyway, this was a little better ...

Hey Slinds! Well, to be honest, this wasn't very interesting. Don't take it the wrong way; it was good. It's just that for the whole middle of your chapter, every ...

Again, way to go! This story is rockin me sockins off! Anywho: The mayor’s house looks like my best bet. I’d guess an officially elected leader to be the most ...

Hey! Looks like you got no real crits here, and so I'm here now! Yippie! I love this story! So awesome. Now shush and let me read it! *reads* *is ...

Awesome! Chapter Two! I can't wait to read it! Awwhhh... another sad chapter. Choco, I've got to tell you that this is good. I am really feeling for Jose. She ...