BenFranks

Hey there! I was instantly drawn to the pace of your poem, but then instantly thrown off again by it, simply because I found this line too wordy: These hands ...

Hey there Skutter! Edits/Suggestions are in red. Letter one To my Love, I have just got to my post in Ypres. Soldiers couldn't give away locations. (just a heads up) ...

Hey there! At the start, this seems very narrative with a jumble of actions combined together which form more of a narrative piece of prose, than a piece of poetry, ...

Hey there! Just a few suggestions really! Good poem though. :arrow: Structure Okay, so this poem has a good natural pace and it is basically punctuated, but there's no real ...

Hey there, Welcome to YWS! In a fortress of shoots, leaves, and amethyst - Far away from the deceit of night and the torch of sun, That's a beautiful way ...

Hey there! Well my favourite thing about this poem is the structure. I actually quite liked your exploration of "Who Am I?" and I think because you did it in ...

Hey there! Okay, I guess some people would agree that this is sweet, but I felt quite detached. Sure, there were points when emotive language was undeniably present and convincing, ...

Hey there! I actually saw this more as a poem because of your choice of language as it is, after all, quite adventurous. Perhaps it would be better suited for ...

Hey there! I usually hate the word "cliche" and despise everything about it, after all it's about how well you write and not how popular what you're writing about is ...

Hey there! I'll start with a few nitpicks that look at your punctuation, structure and word choice, which I personally think need a touch of work! Here we go: falunting ...

Hey there! It's a good opening but I'm not sure about the repetition of heart here: for my weakened heart. As you've already said heart in the opening line it ...

Hey there Forest! I'll be reviewing your work today, you can see my suggestions in this purple . I smelled the burning before I heard the screams. Okay, good opening ...

For another unaware that they must bear At first that felt a bit wordy, and in all honesty it is. The thing that saved it was the brilliance of the ...

Hey there! I liked this and that was down to the natural rhythm of the poem. It was well punctuated and the line lengths are controlled; resulting in good fluency ...

Hey there! Cliche? You could genuinely say that about any poem. What counts is how well you've written it. Here, I think you've done that fairly well. Your word choice, ...