Battlestar

This is a very interesting poem. It reveals the unconscious human tendency toward narcissism. I like how you frame conversations as a platform for this tendency to both shine and ...

This was an exciting continuation of chapter 3.1! I just have a few small comments, if you'd find it helpful. "She needed a face and a family and a life." ...

This was really fun to read! I like how you used italics to convey the different voices in her inner dialogue. This was really interesting (and creepy!). Would this by ...

I really love your imagery in this poem - it's so pretty! I also really like your use of the dash to group words together and place emphasis on certain ...

Your development of Aoliye's character is intriguing and definitely leaves me wanting to know more. Though she seems heartless and arrogant, she also seems like a badass and is strangely ...

Hi, yaslynnj15! Welcome to YWS! I'm Battlestar, here to review your work. I really enjoyed reading this piece! Your introduction of Zoey to the "real reality" is so interesting. I ...

Your poem is interesting, and I like how you wrote from the perspective of Violet Incredible (the new movie was fun)! I think many people would find your poem relatable, ...

This is an interesting piece, and I especially enjoyed how you revealed parts of Jo and Terra's characters through your fast paced, natural dialogue. While I think you really got ...

This is really, really awesome! I like how you bring the readers into the story right from the beginning. Your style is very compelling, and it engages the readers with ...

I really like this poem! The structure of your poem is also very effective. I like your use of polyptoton with 'wait' and 'waiting' and anaphora with your repetition of ...

I've never read a piece comparing the education systems in countries as different as Indonesia and Australia before, so this was very interesting! I think your separation of the comparison ...

I love the form and your creative use of graffiti to conceptualize permanence and confidence in being who you are. Your simple phrases evoke a complex set of emotions - ...

I love your descriptive language. You set the scene very well and make the story vivid and easy to visualize. The characters also really came to life, and already we ...