Azila

"Papa, I'm scared. What's going on?" That is used SOO often in pieces like this. Stop and think: would a really little kid actually say "Papa, I'm scared"? Show us ...

Very nice! I like it a lot... and can relate, in fact, seeing as I live next to a graveyard and have for all my life. But anyway, back to ...

I really enjoyed this! I love the way you started out with having the family kind of distant, then by then end you felt like you were one of them. ...

Intricate shadows, forged by thrashing branches outside the window. Shivering and slithering across my limp form. Should be "...the window, shiver and slither across my limp form." Today is June ...

I liked it! But you don't mind if I proceed to rip it to shreds, do you? I thought not :D Thank you. Basically it's my best friends Carly and ...

Love it. I can't wait to read more of it :lol: You do have a lot of information and some of it is not necessary. I will point out those ...

Ooh! This again! I LOOOOVE this piece! I'm glad to see that you're still working on it! (okay, I really need to stop using so many exclamation points) Kyte: you ...

I love it! So is this why she is the way she is when she's older?? I agree with canislupis on everything she said especially that Manizha should be younger ...

Ooh, melikes! Short and sweet. Your descriptions are beautiful even if the plot isn't the most original thing in the world... but hey, there are no new ideas anyway. The ...

In the bright bathroom light, they were strangely large and dominated the golden-brown rings around them. Is the golden-brown her skin or her eyelashes? If it's the latter (which I ...

Hi Misty! This is pretty good... it's not my favorite of your stuff that I've read, but it's pretty good. I don't feel much connection with Annie, though, so you ...

Hi Misty! I loved reading this! It's so creepy, yet so fun to read! I was sucked in from beginning to end and am still bouncing, waiting for more. I ...

Power surged through her, a light of darkness, black and bright. Interesting description. Try to elaborate on it a bit more, perhaps make a whole separate sentence for it? That ...

Interesting idea! The kind of scary thing is that I started a novel a while ago about a floating city. Of course, the situation was quite different, but I thought ...

Hi! I was a great read! I really felt like I was inside her head, good job. I love the way you include little details (I've read that autistic people ...