Azila

Very nice plot you've got going here! I love the idea of him being able to manipulate other people's minds. I've often thought it would be cool to write something ...

Umm... okay. I was really confused with this. It may just be me, but the metaphors seemed to take over so that I couldn't read what was actually going on. ...

WOW. I really liked this. I found the end a tad predictable though, like from the moment that he saw it was a mirror I knew that the intruder was ...

I love this. Like canis said, it gives you a great feeling inside when you read about Nightmare which is a really great achievement. Canis also pointed out most of ...

Hi there Gwennie! (Please excuse me for calling you that if you despise it XD) Alright, this piece is very powerful (and actually, I seem to notice a similar theme ...

Very nice! Honestly, I really don't see why nobody has critiqued this. The only main suggestion that I have (before I get on to the nit-picks) is that you don't ...

I suggest you not use "pre" It makes it a weird font that I have trouble reading. Of course, if you don't do "pre" then there won't be indents, so ...

The long summer day's slowly became shorter and cooler, the bright greens replaced by vibrant oranges a crimson crisp leaves. I would see children walking to school early on the ...

Hi canis! Man, I love this story! I'm so glad you're taking it out of hiding and dusting it off. There are a few minor errors that I noticed throughout... ...

She ran through the trees in the forest, as fast as her legs could carry her, holding a bundle in her arms. The woman could hear the hoof beats of ...

My my my... I really don't understand why this hasn't gotten any comments! Actually, I do; I think it's a bit too long. Maybe try posting something a tad shorter ...

Hi! Are you new to YWS? I don't think I've seen you before... if so, Welcome! If not, then ignore me :D I'd recommend not doing the "Pre" for your ...

Nice! This IS going to be interesting! I like that her character and a bit of her background are starting to show through. And the mega-sentences are much better too, ...

Ooh! Very nice! It works very well as a prologue/1st chapter. I like the descriptions and emotion. One fault I noticed was that you use incredibly long sentences. One or ...

Very original and exciting, Paw! However, there are quite a few little teeny tiny grammar/spelling mistakes which make it seem like you don't care about your writing even if you ...