Young Writers Society

As I feel that english teachers are not the center of the universe in terms of critiquing writing, I'd post something I wrote here. Enjoy and PLEASE CRITIQUE!!!

Sedrae lay wakeful in his small bunk. Something was not right, he could feel it—he always felt it when something was awry, but no one would ever listen to him. He tried to let go of consciousness, let the motion of the waves soothe him as it had since he'd left his village to become a sailor, and had almost succeeded when he heard a loud bang! and sat up with a start, bumping his head on the low ceiling.

"Relax, Rae,'s only me," a voice said softly, laughing softly and breathily, "You know, you should learn to take a break once in a while—it'd do you good." Sedrae rubbed his head, irritated at this fool of a boy he shared a cabin with. He leaned over, matches in hand as always, and lit the lantern which sat by his bunk. He could just barely make out the boy's slight figure.

"What do you want, Boone? Surely it's not my shift, not tonight! Does the Captain need me?" Sedrae asked quietly. He had not quite gained his voice back from that world between dreams and reality.

"No,'s my shift, but…the Cap’n wants to see you in his quarters," Boone replied uneasily, "He says it's important and not to disturb anyone along the way."

Sedrae bent his head so as not to hit it on the ceiling and climbed down from his bunk, extinguishing his lantern and putting it back just before leaving the room, leaving Boone to stand stupidly in the dark doorway.

He made his way to the upper deck, trying not to clunk along the stairs as he did so. The moon glinted oddly at him and Sedrae paused to look up. The air about him seemed so very crisp and cool, Sedrae wondered at having left his warm night-clothes back in his cabin. The stars seemed so very far away, as if the heavens had abandoned us, Sedrae thought, quickly trying to push the thought from his mind. He remembered the Captain's orders and walked on, abandoning thought on the odd aura of this night's sky. When he arrived at the door of the Captain's quarters, he paused for a second, trying to gather himself together. The Captain was not known, after all, for kindness to his sailors—it was said that he had at one point killed a sailor for disobedience, so all his crew tried to stay on his good side and do as he said. Finally having gained the courage, Sedrae gave the door three firm knocks and entered at the Captain's command.

The Captain was a big burly man in the prime of his life, large in stature with extremely fair hair touched lightly with silver at the temples, fearsome beady black eyes, and skin red and rough from years on the sea. When Sedrae entered his cabin, the Captain was sitting at his writing desk, scribbling something in the crude handwriting of someone not well taught. He did not look up at Sedrae's arrival but simply kept writing.

"You…wanted to see me, sir?" Sedrae asked with a forced calm. Everyone knew the Captain did not like fear, a lesson learned by all soon after joining his crew.

The Captain made one last loud scribble, put his quill down, and slowly turned to look Sedrae in the eye, Sedrae quickly dropping his gaze. The Captain laughed.

"So you must be wondering why I called you here?" The Captain asked. Sedrae nodded. "Good. You should. You must remember, of course, when my ship crashed while going through a too-narrow straight on the voyage to Eican?"

Sedrae felt the color drain from his face. That was the time he had warned them of it, had felt something was not right and reported it, and the Captain laughed in his face and took no heed. They all thought him a lunatic, but somehow he knew they were wrong, knew that these strange comings and goings of knowledge were not mere lunacy but Something or Someone speaking through him. He did not answer the Captain's question.

"I'll take it that you do. Aye, 'twasn't a good day for any of us, not one I'd like to relive, that I know. But the reason I bring this up is because I can see it in your eyes, there's something you're not telling us, something good."

"You called it raving from a lunatic the last time I spoke on such matters, sir," Sedrae said, and felt his face grow hot. He felt that the Captain was making a mockery of him, a mockery of this strange Thing within him.

"So you feel it again, boy? That "something" that's not right?" The Captain asked, standing now to look Sedrae in the face. They were now at an even height, the Captain's beady black eyes meeting Sedrae's almost colorless grey-blue ones. "Is it like the one before?"

"Yes sir," Sedrae replied curtly. He thought of saying some sarcastic remark, so different from the usual courtesy he and his fellow crewmates showed toward the Captain, but suddenly he felt that Presence come over him, just as it had the time before. "I believe that, on the course we're traveling along now, we'll come to a spot at which someone will not return."

The Captain stepped closer so there was barely an inch between them. "Where does this come from, boy?" he asked gruffly, filling the awkward silence which had passed between them, "Is it just chance or ill luck, or are you a prophesy child of some sort?"

Sedrae bit back a sharp response and turned his head so the Captain was no longer in his field of view. "I just…know…" Sedrae said softly, almost whispering, "but what does it matter, sir? No one listened to me last time…"

"It matters because now you're of more value to me than ever before, boy," the Captain said, smiling broadly, "because I can sell you as a seer or a prophet in exchange for a new ship. On the black market, of course. Think of it, boy; you've never been much of a sailor, you never had it in your blood. We only took you on board back in that wreck of a village you called home because we had lost so many men in the storm season. Now you can finally do something to really be of help; think of us on the sea in one of those new-fashioned Oliarch ships the navy sailors use, and you could live in a palace working as a seer. It would be a good life for you, you know."

Sedrae flushed furiously. How dare the Captain think of him as no more than property to buy or sell! "No!" Sedrae cried, "Let me off at the next port if you wish to be rid of me, but I'll not be bought or sold at market like a sack of grain or a pig!"

"You'll do as I say, boy, you've no rights as anything but one of my crew! If I say you'll be sold in exchange for a ship, you'll do it and do it willingly!" He exclaimed. Then, continuing gently and more persuasively, said, "I've offered you a better deal than most of my crew gets—at least you'll be doing prophesies and not manual labor. Now go from here boy, before I lose temper again."

Walking back to his cabin and his warm bunk, Sedrae knew he would not smile and nod to please the Captain. It was only then that he realized just how much trouble his gift could get him into, and swore to himself not to speak of it to anyone again unless there were great need of it. Gods knows how many men would sell me for their greatest desire Sedrae thought glumly, But if I can only steer us toward the Island of the Priests and join their men, I will never be slave to Man again! At least, he hoped not.

************

The following morning, Sedrae rose to hear the grunting of working sailors. He was late! No one, not even Boone, had awakened him for the day's work. He quickly stripped himself of his night clothes and, in the uniform that marked him sailor, ran to the main deck to report for duty. He could feel dread sweep over him—had Boone called his name and he had not heard? He knew the last man to be late for duty, an old friend of his by the name Vultran, who had just overslept one night. The Captain had greeting him with rage far beyond what feeling this should have invoked, and gave him lashings enough that Vultran had almost died from loss of blood. He had escaped at the next port, and Sedrae had never seen or heard from his friend since.

"Ah, my prophet! You join us," The Captain said, and his tone was that not of mockery but of simple courtesy.

"Aye, I am sorry, sir, for having overslept," Sedrae said, looking at the Captain with a mixture of fear and confusion. The Captain had never treated anyone with courtesy, at least not that Sedrae knew of. He could feel a cold chill go through him which he barely suppressed, though the Captain seemed to take no notice of it. What does he want of me? Sedrae thought, scared that within a moment the Captain would throw him from the ship to meet his fate at the mercy of the Gods for his tardiness.

"Do not worry yourself, lad," The Captain exclaimed, clapping him on the back, "Soon enough you'll be making some great Lord happy, giving him prophesies of whether his mistress bears a son or if he'll win a battle or whatnot when we reach the Port of the Worlds. Think of life in court, boy, and you'll know you've got the better bargain!"

Sedrae could tell that the Captain meant this to make him joyful of being sold like no more than a slave, or at least accepting of his choice rather than rebellious, but Sedrae would not—could not—do as the Captain had ordered him. This comment made him even more sure of it, for Sedrae could not direct this Thing or Being to tell him what he pleased—his was a gift which was beyond any control, at least that he knew of. If I were sold to such a Lord as the Captain has described, wanting prophesies of minor events in the Thread of Life, Sedrae thought glumly, he would put me to death for not telling him exactly what he wished to know! Had Sedrae went along with it and guessed at answers to questions not told to him by this Unknown power, if he were incorrect he could be put to death as a false prophet. There was a law against false prophets, so none would dare seek admission to the Isle of the Priests or sell his services as prophet unless he were the genuine article. If we reach the Port of the Worlds, I shall die! I must not fail…we must reach the Isle of the Priests in ruin, lest the Captain think he can redirect us back to the Port of the Worlds. Gods help me, I am doomed!

Sedrae, still letting his thoughts wander, climbed the mast with the newly acquired skill which he had only of late learned. It shall almost be too bad when I leave this ship! A waste of new skill, if you ask me! But it may be that greatness may await me on the Isle of the Priests!

"Hold it, boy!" The Captain cried, pulling Sedrae's thoughts to a halt, "You shan't be doing any more of that! It'll look bad, for you to have the look of one abused!"

Sedrae, avoiding argument, came down, forcing a jovial look upon his face. "Thank you, Captain! But…what should I…?"

"Tell me about what you saw, boy," the Captain asked, his face lighting up slightly, "In that prophesy of yours, did it tell you which way we should go?"

Sedrae thought for a bit. He knew to get to the Isle of the Priests they must head to the east, not north to the Port of the Worlds. "If we continue straight for the Port of the Worlds," Sedrae said, thinking furiously and making himself seem willing to do the Captain's bidding, "trouble awaits. I was Told that we would meet with greedy traders who would attack us for our goods, but if we make our way around to the east and take that longer route, I believe we will make it without any other problems.”

“Ah, I get it, lad,” the Captain said, chuckling with a wholeheartedness which startled poor Sedrae, “you’re nervous! I can see it in your eyes—don’t think too much about it, you’ve done well with us! And who knows what potential you’ll unlock! And besides,” the Captain said with a more serious look crossing his face, “I don’t plan on waiting any longer for my Oliarch ship just because you’re getting scared! Come off it, lad, I do believe you to be telling tales this time!”

So they carried on, fear and dread filling Sedrae’s heart, replacing the hope he had had of diverting the ship toward the Island of the Priests. In a very real sense, he knew that though what he had said were lies, there was indeed something very wrong which would come or was already coming. But with a Sight more than sight, he knew he would live to see the coming year. And the Captain…what will become of him? An irrepressible shudder went through Sedrae’s body as he returned to his cabin.