...

...And you say I'm on crack?

What are you guys talking about? This made perfect sense, in every sense of the word.

Duh. You guys are lame. Must I break this down paragraph by paragraph?!

Jerome took a brief stroll through the crystalline soul of a major reptilian beast, sick with scurvy from lack of lake fronts to envelop. The reptile's tongue had swollen to a considerable size and throbbed with a hand's green leaves and rough bark.

Jerome saw a few sinking saturns, slinking along with a slither and hiss, the latter of which was significantly subdued, as if fearing the punishment of alligators and tooth cavities. Sharp words shot out from those fat slithering pompous fools, words that cut to the core of ice cream's brain tissue.

"Let's go back to the blathering fattiness of old," Jerome said with a pink smile. "Let's just kick the golf ball to the curb of hell's last front."

The reptilian king agreed with a dunk in the pond, a pond named Askew. The name was given to it scarlet years ago, and it had accepted the honour with grace and courage, living up to its name with a giant yawn and a jumping jack. The pond had been in a few altercations with the foreign inhabitants, but had maintained a sense of security. Its gleam was as dark as the mud's first sky.

Now Jerome came to a rocket ship filled with the last survivors of the stone age. They had barricaded themselves behind the sliding door, building a city within the deep abyss of ancient bricks. Their leader emerged with a short fuse and a wide grin.

"Tourniquet!" he yelled. "We don't need any physicians around this flabbergasted fence. Get out of our town and jump into a brazen fingernail cloud."

Jerome was puzzled. "The statutes of Mongolia proclaim the last sound of the patriarchy. Expel yourselves from this glorious dayside, and clam yourselves up in awaiting of the highway." He spoke these words with conviction.

That's the best you could do?

Prokaryote

Grammar and First Impressions

Jerome took a brief stroll through the crystalline soul of a major reptilian beast, sick with scurvy from lack of lake fronts to envelop.

The reptile's tongue had swollen to a considerable size and throbbed with a hand's green leaves and rough bark.

Jerome saw a few sinking saturns, slinking along with a slither and hiss...

Sharp words shot out from those fat slithering pompous fools, words that cut to the core of ice cream's brain tissue.

The pond had been in a few altercations with the foreign inhabitants, [no comma] but had maintained a sense of security.

Jerome jumped to catch a hang glider and pounded the ground with its glassy eyes. "Life will escape you!" he yelled.

Wow, that was incredibly random. I love it.
I mean, it didn't make sense, but that's just why it was just so...spectacular. I actually laughed while reading this. Whether or not that was your intention [to make the reader laugh], this was very well-written.

But now, I must voice a negative opinion:
While I read this, millions of images were popping up in my head. I think it's because you kept using thing like: Its gleam was as dark as the mud's first sky.
That made me envision gleaming water, mud and then...sky? Uuuhh..okaaaay then.
But I think you might have been trying to do that, or at least not trying to make this an understandable piece.

Because this was just so utterly nonsensical, I was only able to discern this much from it: Jerome was walking in a reptile's soul, the reptile had a leay tongue, there was a mud-sky-dark pond named Askew, Jerome was talking with some other people and a blimp crashed...somewhere. But hey, this was enjoyable anyways.
But now my brain hurts.
Keep writing though!
Narf!
-Ayra

I... really rather liked this, but I can not explain why.
Maybe because the imagery is enthralling or because the writing style is so amazing or because it basically sucked me in, spat me out, and left me dazed and not quite sure what happened. But then I read it again anyways.

I especially liked "Everyone laughed with purple love and blended with the green; they complimented each other like infrared and night vision." and "The name was given to it scarlet years ago, and it had accepted the honour with grace and courage, living up to its name with a giant yawn and a jumping jack."

Pork, your imagination is bigger than my whole body! daaaang! It was very confusing.....read more than once *at least more than a million for me^^* But, yeah you can tell that you really tried with that story! Great job Pork! *I will be the leader in the wave for Pork!*
Cat ^^

Azila wrote:Anyway, I'm glad it's all resolved now, and I hope you didn't take any offense from my stupidity.

Well I guess the reason I was looking for deeper meaning is because it was so well written. I just figured that if it was that good on the surface there must be something deeper down...

Anyway, I'm glad it's all resolved now, and I hope you didn't take any offense from my stupidity.

~Azila~

wow.i had to read every paragraph twice.or maybe thats just me. though strangely i took a liking to this

A dragon of New York flew into Jerome's mouth. Passed out on the ground, Jerome dreamed of eccentric light sockets battling global skiers. His skull cracked and swirled into a rainbow of colours, sleeping the child away, filling up the cup of marksmanship and boils. Pronged reindeer floated past his place of inhabitance, waving him goodbye with massive tears and plucked fur

This was... really weird. I don't know how much I liked it... but at least you have considerable talent for imagery.

Yup. Not much to say about this.

Nothing to say, really. It's one of those pieces that you read, and your brain just thinks, "HUH?" so you have to go back and read it again.

Those are fun.

Great job, as always.

Peace, love, chocolate,
Muffin

I think the problem is that you're trying to make sense of something that isn't supposed to make sense. ^_^

Sure, I guess you could read this and take it as one big metaphor -- but any meaning you find there wasn't intended.

This was purely an exercise in surrealism.

Prokaryote

Well... maybe not metaphors, but here are the spots that confused me the most:

Jerome took a brief stroll through the crystalline soul of a major reptilian beast, sick with scurvy from lack of lake fronts to envelop. The reptile's tongue had swollen to a considerable size and throbbed with a hand's green leaves and rough bark.

Sharp words shot out from those fat slithering pompous fools, words that cut to the core of ice cream's brain tissue.

"Let's go back to the blathering fattiness of old," Jerome said with a pink smile. "Let's just kick the golf ball to the curb of hell's last front."

The reptilian king agreed with a dunk in the pond, a pond named Askew. The name was given to it scarlet years ago, and it had accepted the honour with grace and courage, living up to its name with a giant yawn and a jumping jack. The pond had been in a few altercations with the foreign inhabitants, but had maintained a sense of security. Its gleam was as dark as the mud's first sky.

Jerome stabbed the pork with a six-tonged fork, and tipped the bird's vegetables out of his intestines. "Timeless ages of woods; yesterday's tremor and monotony; humor and humidity combined with lace. Each of those tortoises."

"Behold," Jeromy sprinted, "the gods of visual aids. Soundless strife before the utter incomplexities of nature's friend. Die, die, become ill with spice."

A dragon of New York flew into Jerome's mouth. Passed out on the ground, Jerome dreamed of eccentric light sockets battling global skiers. His skull cracked and swirled into a rainbow of colours, sleeping the child away, filling up the cup of marksmanship and boils. Pronged reindeer floated past his place of inhabitance, waving him goodbye with massive tears and plucked fur

Jerome awoke with pus in his hair. Books could see him, but could not reach him; they were held back by a VCR and DVD player, in addition to the euphoric middleman who would not give a hand. Everyone laughed with purple love and blended with the green; they complimented each other like infrared and night vision.

What metaphors are you talking about? :/ This isn't really a metaphoric story. (Unless you make it one.)

Prokaryote

Umm... okay. I was really confused with this. It may just be me, but the metaphors seemed to take over so that I couldn't read what was actually going on. Again, it may be me, but this really made no sense at all to me, frankly.

Because I'm so confused, I can't point out what it wrong with it... because I don't know what is intentional and what isn't. I'm sorry, this wasn't really of any help, was it?

Are you actually six years old? Because if you are, like it says under your avatar, then this is a really amazing and prodigal piece of work, but if not...

I'm sorry, I'm not making any sense am I? Feel free to delete this post if you like

PM me if you really don't understand what I'm saying and want me to clarify

~Azila~