Ave38

This is pretty intriguing! I liked how you portrayed fishing as a family event. We all sit around a high fire, which crackled with tiny explosions. This was the only ...

So, a pretty good start! We already have some secrets going around. Usually, there were a lot of people, but I was the only girl to ever want to walk ...

This was an interesting start! Please let it be good news. Please let it be good news. Please, just let it just be good news just for once. Do bad ...

I like the description you had in the third paragraph. My name is Lia, I am an intern working for RC company. I am an hardworking person but till today ...

Good chapter! I love the dynamic you set up between Silvan and Dakota, with Silvan ending up in bad situations (like falling out of the sky), and then Dakota has ...

Good chapter! The plot developed pretty well here. Do most people still live on the surface or is Ruben in the minority? Maddie was thirteen. But she was basically still ...

So, Ruben! He already seems very interesting. You've given a good view of his abilities without being boring, so good job with that. Ruben comes off to me as very ...

This was an interesting chapter! I love how you set up Silvan's wind knowledge in the beginning. I really wonder how Argus will be involved in this. One of my ...

I like the world-building you did here. I think this has a lot of potential to go places! It sounds like someone walking up behind me. You switched tenses here ...

This new chapter is interesting! It was a lot of info throw at the reader at once, but I see why you did it. I think the reader would be ...

I love your characters! Tedadroa doesn't question herself often, once again at least not this side of her, she's very confident in herself, and her accomplishments. I like the differences ...

I liked this! I thought the pacing was very good. Dakota comes off to me as slightly grumpy, but very brave and determined. “If I find a more experienced flyer, ...

This seems like a solid start. You did a good job of setting the scene. I like the personality of the main character you showed. To me, he came off ...

This was very well plotted! For me you gave enough information without info-dumping. I can't find any big errors. Tro “You! Your one of those slayers!” I'm nitpicking here, but ...

Wow. This is really good! I love all the descriptions you put in here and can already see the world-building happening! I could barely find any mistakes, so I'm going ...