Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi!
First Impression: This seems like a pretty fun start to a story. There was some pretty good dialogue and a nice couple of introductions as well. It looks like it could be quite a story. Let more get more nitpicky now.
Anyway let's get right to it,
“Class!”... I dozed off for a few seconds but now I’m up.
I wouldn't say that is the best line to open with right there. Its a little bit weird and it seems like its not really clear about what its trying to tell us.
“Good morning everyone, today and for the next month, you will have a new teacher for this class” informed our Professor Teddy Hancock in his usual suit and tie.
Now that's a decent introduction to that charcter
Sitting off to the side is a man in a black suit holding a cane.“I would like you to meet the one and only Robert dawn’’ educated Professor Ted.
“He will be your main teacher in the history of spiritual ideas and monsters” He told us, pulling out a cardboard box marked “Spiritual” items from under his desk. The man walked over to the desk and looked over at the class “ hello everyone I see there are 23 of you’’ He acknowledged. “By the way I am blind” He laughed out loud.
What?
Okay, well that was quite an entrance he had right there.
“Hard to believe I am blind, right? sorry for the masquerade” He apologized.
“But You all believed that I could see, not much unlike how people used to believe that jumping into a volcano could make the sky rain’’ he reasoned, holding up his hand to the board showing an image of a man jumping into a volcano in a duck float and snorkel.
Okay, well that like came out of absolutely nowhere, but umm...well it is an interesting point to make.
“When we see things our minds choose to observe certain things, the human's ability to reason is said to be unmatched when compared to any species, Yet we see things with a belief which I
believe comes with the ability to reason.” he informed us showing various images of witch doctors, witches, pharaohs, and Gods.’’ Belief is shown throughout history represented by all of the gods, goddesses, ghost stories, and Urban legends out there’’ he educated flipping through various urban legends and horror stories on the smart screen.
I don't think educated is a great choice of words there but the speech does seem realistic enough.
It kept on flipping until he got to a certain page.
It kept on flipping until he got to a certain page.
Not sure if that was done on purpose for emphasis or you accidentally repeated that line.
“The tale of the vampire, most of you either know this creature as a blood sucking being of the night who burns in the light, or a monster who can survive off any kind of blood and twinkle in the light’’ discussed our teacher.
“This year, I am going to be teaching you all about the history and lore of monsters, particularly vampires’’ he cheered right before the old church bell rang out.
Hmm...the way he introduced vampires seems very suspicious to me right off the bat there.
“I will look forward to seeing you all next week, or should I say I will listen forward to hearing you all next week.?!” he exclaimed, a little more serious than the sentence should have actually been saying.” Have a nice Halloween everyone!”Mr dawn finished
Well that's a good ending there to his lesson.
“HEY BRO!” Screamed my over eccentric thrill seeking friend Jada Lee Kurtis as we met up in the hall intersecting the boy and girl dorm.
“HI JADA” I hollered mimicking her weird induction to screaming.
Oh that's the best way to say hi.
“You know what Jada since you look like you're about to pee your pants, I would be more than happy to go to the meeting” I responded thinking about the meeting and what it would be like to be in a room filled with one hundred and seventy Judas.
Could be just me but that kinda sounded rude right there.
“Where’s Michael?” I questioned her while grabbing my OD T-shirt and jeans.
“Make sure you tell him not to get caught and to stop leaving the window open,” I told her, closing the window and walking out the door to the boy's bathroom.
Well...that's a very casual place to end things. Can't wait to see where this one is headed.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall this was a pretty good start to a story, I feel like we had a quite a few things get set up and this is promising to be quite interesting. I might read more parts of it, if I do find it.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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