Ares

Expand definetly. Maybe have something about Drytear, eh? eh? Great idea, I know.

Ok, this is going to take a little time for a proper critique, so I'll do it tomorrow. Sorry I haven't gotten to it yet. For now, my reply to ...

Nice. Very powerful. Sorry I have nothing to critique, just keep up the good work Liz. -MH p.s. You might wanna look at some other people's work before you post ...

lol, world of squares... Anyways, The first stanza is a little awkward. Nice poem though.

Nice, I really enjoyed it. I especially liked some of the rhymes. The only thing I'd say is that if your gunna do the rhymes, make sure it always rhymes. ...

Also, I like the characters you have going.

Lightly revise, and expand/elaborate. And space it out more.

I think everbody already got evrything. Nice work though.

Uh oh. Idunno if all my helpful coding works on YWS Dark. Lemme switch to Light and see if everything's there. EDIT: Woo. Thank God. If you look at my ...

Rei said most of it. The only thing I would add is to come up with some other names for Richard, like Mr. Wells, etc.

I agree. Maybe somre revision here and there. And the repitition sounded kinda...off.

unfathomable That right there sticks out Jiggy, least I think so. And I liked the beginning, cus I knew what you were talking about. The ending seems a little weak ...

Two-toed? Idunno about this. It could be good but it seems to read really slowly. Might be the word choice and structure. It's also a little confusing. Maybe some revision. ...

Make it bigger, like DD said. Nice work.

While I sit alone. Let the tears come, If my life is gone. Fix that. It broke up the flow. Other than that, nice work.