Areida

*shrugs* I kind of left the time period open to interpretation. Sometimes it's more fun when things are left to the imagination, rather than having everything spoon-fed. Thanks for reading, ...

Well, they had girdles at least. Either way, it's nearly impossible to lace/button up the back of your own dress.

Oops. Yes, it should be "my" not "her"... thanks for pointing that out. :D

Thanks very much to everyone. :D

Oh god, I loved this. It actually made me read it all. *faints in shock* Wow. Thank you so much, Jack... seriously, that is an EXTREMELY awesome compliment... Thanks also ...

Thanks ohhewwo... I fixed it... LOL... I didn't even catch that... sad, huh? You too, Snoink. Coming from you, that's an extremely high compliment. You guys are awesome.

Good narrative in the character's mind, and excellent imagery. Great job, Jack. :D

Eh.. I didn't really like it. It sounds more like lyrics and evokes absolutely no emotion. Nada. Zero. Zilch. Honestly, I think that you've got a good concept, but it ...

Interesting... I understand the need for an air of mystery in this - it definitely needs it - but it also needs more description as to where we are, who ...

Yeah, add an age warning. Eek. I would NOT want my 11-year-old sister reading that... but it was really good. Very poetic, and full of excellent, dark descriptions. I'm impressed.

LOL... I love it! Your characters are so real... it's awesome. Only crit I have is how much J.T. goes on and on about his parents... it's a bit much ...

I agree with Reich... great concept and some good phrasing, but not enough detail. Expand it, give it some length... make us really care about the circumstances and the characters.

I'm going to have to go with Tara on this one. You really are very gifted, Brad. Great piece.

Thanks so much, RiaBaby. That really is a very high compliment. :D You guys are awesome.

Thank you so much, Reichieru. Anyone else? brutal. I really want to make this the best it can be.