Areida

I gave it to her the morning of her eighteenth birthday, while we were on our Chicago Choir Tour. She read it on our charter bus, and I scanned it ...

Mm... me likey. Great job.

Ooh, I wish I could hear the tune! But the words are gorgeous.

I agree. I think that's part of the reason I like it so much. It really captures the innocence and confusion that accompany children when they are put through divorce.

Fabulous. The ending really resonated... the whole thing was perfect.

Mummy and Daddy have gone to war. Good opening line. It captures my attention. Things will never bo the same again. Pushing and pulling. Is it his? or is it ...

*shameless bump* Really, I'm open to any and all suggestions.

Mm, you ought to read some of Francine Rivers' books; I think you'd like her. Her Mark of the Lion series is my favourite.

I'm with Sam. The first three lines were great; the rest sucked. Wow. That was blunt for me, huh?

Thank you so much, guys. I REALLY want this to be good for her, so if anyone has any suggestions I am certainly open to them. I'm still working on ...

Ooh...I liked it. Do you plan to continue? I think this piece has a lot of potential. All of the errors I noticed were already pointed out, so I don't ...

These are so good, Sam. You should put them all in one place with little ~*~ dealywops separating them or something. It'd be cool to read them all at once...they're ...

Oh, I almost forgot. I also liked how I got to read "the girl and her wolf" before this one. I think the "in medias res" effect is much more ...

Definitely Lewis Carrol. Except slightly more sane.

Wow...this is great. Once I started I couldn't stop reading. Your description (which I am horrible with) and your dialouge are fantastic. I hope you will post more soon...I'm extremely ...