This is a really creative, albiet a bit strange, piece. The finishing statement was haunting, just how I like it. One of the kind of lines I like to read over and over again just to here its coolness and ... cleverness ... and what not ...
But really, this was good. Well done.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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I SHALL!
AND WHY ARE WE WHISPERING?!?!
Oh, btw, a couple posts back I had a complete list of links to these things...*shrug* i get lost trying to copy it all into Word! BLAHEMA!
I'm so lost in all these!
It is good. That ending is haunting. KEEP IT UP, BUDDY, WE'VE GOT A LONG NIGHT AHEAD OF US!
These are so good, Sam. You should put them all in one place with little ~*~ dealywops separating them or something. It'd be cool to read them all at once...they're awesome.
Wow, this is great! I agree with ohhewwo, the last line is great. Clever, definitely, and makes you wish there was just one more line in there. I also agree with Jack, The way you have written shows the readers confusion, and it reminds me of a character i read in a book once. Just the style of the authors, though; the randomness. Anyway, you and that author have another thing in common. You're both great.
I'm here Sam!! sorry it took so long *pants from lack of oxygon* anyway this was a very good peice, very dreamy like everyone else said. But I think him seeing the gagged person happend a little to soon for me. Like something else should happen before that. And like RiaBaby said you should have "see what happens" in qoutes.
I think you should have "see what happens" in quotes, because I kind of got confused.
But otherwise--this was absolutely amazing. Just...amazing.
this has a really cool dreamy read to it. Like random thoughts, and definitely shows the confusion of the narrator.
why did the guy die?!