AntonioVidalZ

Hello Rebel, I like this story simply for the worldbuilding it introduces. A magical wizard and a young adolescent female. Reminds me of choose your own adventure books from the ...

Hello Miles, I love the cinematic feel to this read. The inner feeling of an actor. It makes me think of how we are always acting to an extent. Makes ...

Hello vampricone, The use of description and a first person blog post is pretty neat and added to the story. However I'm a bit confused to what the ending is ...

Hello again the Uncrustible, I'm starting to see the appeal to this story. I like noirs and your story seems to be giving off that vibe to it. I agree ...

Hello TheUncrustible, A catching start for sure. I would like to see more of the Captain and his story in the next chapter. I would keep in mind that stories ...

Hello inprisonforsparkling, I like your world this story takes place. I'm not too into fantasy but I understand it take diligence to make up the world of royal guards and ...

Hello sunslurp, The story is starting to reach it's inciting incident. I'm curious as to where the story will head from here. Again, I like the description of settings and ...

Hello Rooke, This dialogue-centered story seems to be more of a screenplay than a literary piece. I think subtext is important to dialogue. Show don't tell. I would work on ...

Hello again sunslurp, I was looking forward to this chapter. The development of this story seems to be headed in a dramatic direction. I think you have a lot of ...

Hello goodolnoah, An interesting concept. I believe your use of description and dialogue are superior to your piece. The world is also set up in an apocalyptic way. I feel ...

Hello sunslurp, You set up the setting very well. I am intrigued in this Willow's Creek and how it will be related to the mother and Aunt May. World building ...

Hello Shashwat, I think the emotion in this piece is strong, but could be stronger. I would saw you show a lot, which is good, better than telling, but I ...

Hello again gruzinkerbell, It seems to be that creative nonfiction is your forte. Your use of scenery and creative language really resonates with me and my own style. I like ...

Hello grunzinerbell, I like this creative nonfiction piece. Your use of scene work and imagery really sells the piece for me. The ending line ends the piece strong with that ...

Hello Wave0is0it, The first thing I noticed about your story is the world it takes place in. The setting of what seems to be an Asian community really gives me ...