Amniel

I liked most of the poem. Some parts however I felt didn't sit in the rhyme, particularly in the beginning, and the beginning was as Vox had said very vague, ...

Like JFW1415 said, the story is all tell. I too hate such stories, as they give nothing to connect with to the characters, or the places. Most of the story ...

This is probably the most boring chapter so far...well you always need to have one such slow chapter I guess...but you finally explained why they have such weird names :lol: ...

That was great stuff! The imagery was great, rhyming excellent and it flowed nigh perfectly. I like the subject and your way to portray it but i do have some ...

This was great :!: I like how the poem flowed, but I think the third stanza was the most awkward for some reason. Probably because all the other ones were ...

Okay now for the review. I think your idea is interesting, but sometimes blocky language and a start without anything to really make us care what happens, makes it hard ...

That wasn't exactly...great. Oh well. Most of the issues have already been covered but I want to remind you again. I through a rope you through a rope? I think ...

Sakura, you stole my favorite phrase :evil: oh well, I guess I shouldn't complain. Finalnd was never ruled by vikings. Well onto the main things; I think the whole first ...

Go Bobby! This was well written but for few things. The only major issue was that it didn't seem to lead anywhere: we have no idea what actually he is ...

Good start. Great use of language. But I have a few things to note. You should merge the mini chapters into one single chapter. Alos, you should slow down the ...

Here as..well not promised but...expected 8) picked up another sound- human feet That refers tot the humn feet as being a sound, not its maker. When Bane awoke and you ...

Sounds cool 8) Albeit a bit cliche I have to admit. How am I gonna get this long enough for it to count as a review, oh well. (I switch ...

Note that I'm dead tired when reviewing... :roll: Well there were actually not so many differences to the older chapter one, which I accidentaly happened to review :? fiercely attacking ...

Yes, I know the prolouge isn't finished, but several people told me to move on and go back to it later. Basically all you need to know is Fang was ...

Excellent work with chapter one :D ! It really keeps you waiting for more and the conscience speaking in the beginning is very David Eddings style, which of course is ...