Alteran

Just troubleshooting! Just chasing the breeze. Surfing the net Just as I [s]so[/s] please. [s]Well[/s] When all of a sudden , "Error" it says and So it turned out To ...

This was very humerous. I think it goes in other fiction cause it's not set up as a script. I was a little apprehensive at first but then it just ...

You didn't use quotation marks for dialogue, which I didn't understand. You swore quite often and it added little to the story. If anything it detracted from it since the ...

err...I dont have a lue as to what it's about. I think it has something to do with the World coming to an end all the people working as one, ...

It has anice idea, but i would think it would give a little insight into how to solve the problem. You've just riddled us with questions with no real conclusion ...

It's to abstract to gain anything from. You have to have a hapy medium so it's not flat but not so complex no one gets it. I dont get it. ...

it is a nice poem. I thought you were a little to direct. It's good to use metaphors and such to make the reader look past the words. You want ...

Chapter II: Sentinel Lloyd walked into the living room and switched the television on. He crashed onto the couch, lifting his feet onto the coffee table as white light slowly ...

Note, In order to retain your formating you must select your work and click the pre button, or place a line space between your paragraphs. You would also need to ...

[Vampgrl607]: I’m going to ignore the consequences comment and tell you no. you ow[s]n[/s] e me enough to answer some questions. I'm pretty sure you meant owe there. This was ...

I enjoyed it very much. It took me a while to see Rebeccah as the sort of neutral party. Hse kinda seemed to flow between whoever was closest. She didn't ...

While your little thingy there makes sense, you must also understand that some people need to complain, it's a form of therapy. Having another person empathize with your situation helps ...

I enjoyed it. I kinda thought the whole he was there and then he was gone was a bit cliche but their personalities seem genuine and unique, At least against ...

I did a great long crit and now it's vanished so yeah. The characters seemed well developed. You have little description, We dont know what your characters really look like ...

Part 4: Interrogation Dynecus was giving himself a clumsy haircut with his knife, succeeding in making himself look even more like a criminal, though at least not himself. He was ...