Aley

Outside a group had gathered, hidden but still there all the same. So when you have things like all the same tacked on to the end of sentences, it chops ...

He was not a runner and he never wanted to be, but when one’s life depended on it, it was only natural to sprint as fast as you could. So ...

No one smiled though they were but kids, and no one laughed when even though it was greatly needed. This is awkward phrasing. First, the use of But before kids ...

So I'm planning on reviewing pro-4. That means I'm starting here. Since you already have a lot of advice, I'll keep this fairly short. First thing first, why aren't we ...

So for a poem, this seems very strange. As a short story prose piece, it seems strange too. I'm not sure exactly which category would be best for it. There ...

This is actually kind of confusing. I feel like parts of it are clear, but other parts are pointlessly written just because they sound cool, for instance stanza 3 where ...

Bold much? Come on Coder, fix it. Overall I think the story is doing alright. You could spruce it up a bit by avoiding the THS, and perhaps explaining a ...

So while I think I kind of understand the set up for the story from this, I feel like we're missing some crucial details, for instance, how did the girl ...

So this verbally sounds very good, a nice easy newsy story that we can follow, but it isn't clear, and it is more showing than I care for. At the ...

"" "Biographers have erroneously put this date of no return three months later, but if you ask me, the correct date was a late, frosty January Tuesday." So, this means ...

Hey Audy~!

Interesting plot twist, but I feel like you invented Mikel just to kill him for this scene, instead of actually giving him some individual character that would support what he ...

So I like it when it doesn't switch point of view as often. This story seems to be taking on a weird shape. I thought the demon girl was going ...

And it was all at the hands of a mortal named Jakome. Fragment because of And. -Just a reminder, and needs something to connect with, like this and that. And ...

Hey! Aley here to help review