Alainna

This is really good. I think you could of showed more contrast between the beautiful garden and the horrible images. A great piece, Alainna xxxxxxxx

I had to read Junk for school and I loved it. Melvin now has a new book out called 'Doing It' which is also great but not for the faint ...

I have not read Northanger Abbey however it is in my house......(Some cupboard or box in my room.......) as my sister has read it. I'll see if I can find ...

Hate to say it but............I hate this book. I got half way and thought 'I give up'. It just does nothing to keep you hooked, I understand reading it if ...

It's not too long, but some of it is a bit random..........the whole drinks thing lost my attention. I really like your characters, they are real and to the point. ...

I liked this piece and am going off to read part two right now!!! Alainna xxxxxxxxxx

You used some amazing imagery....this was really good. Love the description of the colours. Alainna xxxxxxxxxxxx

Very intriguing! I really liked the first line and the way we don't find out any names, it keeps the reader on their feet. Keep it up, this could turn ...

Much, much ,much better!! This poem now seems complete and flows easily, which is very good for hooking the reader. Only complaint...........I didn't want it to end!! Much better (I ...

Awwwwwwwwwww!!! That made me feel all mushy inside. (I hope that's what it was intended to do...) It was very emotive, my only crit is that it could probably be ...

Thanks for the crit, all is taken on board. I will be posting in parts and my next post (part 2) will be soon. It would be great if you ...

It is not like his Dark Materials, however it does captivate the reader in the same fashion. It is based on a boy who falls in love, only to find ...

This is a really good piece, I can imagine it in song form. It ran smoothly and I am a fan of repetition. Could there have been more depth behind ...

Lol :oops: Typo. (I make loads of them) It is a good book if you're looking for an 'easy read'. Alainna XXXXXXXXXXX

Thanks guys! I agree completely that it could do with being structured in a different way, maybe as a poem. There is a lot more emotion behind this piece than ...