Akisha

Wow I completely forgot that I'd written this! Thats so wierd! Thats almost two years ago now :shock:

Amazing...i loved it! Great use of alliteration! I have nothing else to say really, that already hasn't been said.

I'm actually interested to see that people actually replied to this! Personally I thought is boring but I couldn't think of anything else to write! Hi Trìona. Go Irish people! ...

Your welcome! And thanks again for donating those points to me! :D Its so easy to pick out all of the negative things when reading people's stories. So I tried ...

I'm in work at the moment so I printed this out. I'll get back to you as soon as I've read it :)

I haven't read any of those books but my friend told me that Angels and Demons is a very good book. I might read it myself.

Its good, you're a good writer. I agree with misty lynn though, the ending is a little weak. But its still very good. :)

This is quite good, apart from a few little mistakes. I reckon you'd have a good chance in the contest. :)

Your welcome! :) Looking forward to reading more!

This is very, very good! I don't really have any criticism for you! I really enjoyed this. Really looking forward to reading more of this story! Keep up the good ...

Thanks for the reply Snoink. To be honest, I think most of the changes I made really sucked! There's no reason that I'm capitalizing "it". I thought you were supposed ...

Thank you all for your opinions! They are highly appreciated. Thank you Helen, It was nice to get some positive feedback. I never really went over this when I wrote ...

Thank you for your opinion Snoink. I've noticed that in a lot of stories that people give away too much at the beginning, and I was trying my best not ...

Yeah its pretty good but it seems like the story is a little too predictable as i said before. I haven't much else to say. Keep on writing :wink: