Aedomir

Hiya! I like the message that you wanted to get across, but to be honest, this doesn't feel like a poem. I can see more of dramatic writing than a ...

Hiya! Mind if I take a look...? I liked the meaningful background, and the idea that you seem to know where you're going, but yes, as with others I would ...

I really like the rhythm, the puncuation and the format, but ther's no... emotion. I know you can portray 'thunuder' in many different ways, but I just can't feel the ...

Hiya! Nice to see yet another story by you! Have you ever listened to your heart thump against your chest at night, when no one is around to hear it? ...

Oh, lol! Harry Potter! Any reason why you did this? :lol: ground I trod on. Change in tense. Try 'tread' instead of 'trod'. No other grammar aside frm that. I ...

Maybe I can read this without going on about spammesr this time! :-) OK, I loved this to be honest. It did actually compell me I suppose. The order seemed ...

Wow Jabber! Leave some fun for the rest of us :wink: Alright, since the grammar has been delt with... I liked this a lot. Emminently, there are a good few ...

As much s I think you can write poems, it just seems to me that you lack... ideas. I mean, feet ? If you like narrative, I would reccomend just ...

I have heard so much about these, but I have never actually picked one up. I might do one day, you never know! What would you say the age range ...

Heya! I think I've read this but I haven't commented yet... Pain surged through my body like an angry bolt of lightning. It twisted through my veins and choked my ...

Heya! Poetry isn't really for me, but I will give what I can here! Can’t make any sen 'sense' How many had I drank Too much Too many So sick ...

Heya! Let's take a peek: 'The moment he had waited so long for had at last dawned.' I would put a comma in after 'for'. I couldn't see much esle, ...

Hiya! Like others have said, go back and fix that grammar! 'but for the remaining hours of the night, that’s when they come out' ^ that doesn't make sense, replace ...

Heya! When I "woke up", I knew that I was dead, as contradictory as that may seem. Yep, I have to admit, that is one of the most ironic things ...

Heya! I read this in bed a couple of ngihts ago, sorry for the wait but here goes: who's WHOSE who's is a contraction for 'who is' the irony made ...