Adnamarine

Hello Lord Gluzman! We'll start with the bad, shall we? And then we'll go on to the good. :) First things first, your structure. This poem has no definite form, ...

Hey PG :) The first thing that I noticed about this is that your structure is very random. You change the position of your rhyming lines, and the lengths of ...

I think it's wonderful that I don't know where this is going! It's completely unpredictable. That's great! If I knew exactly what was coming, how it would end, etc., I ...

Calon awoke to the sudden feeling of expectations, it buzzed in the air of the small hut he shared with his mother like a live thing. Twisting and twining around ...

Hello Lord Anzius. Firstly, it’s ‘Prologue’ and ‘Reaper’ rather than ‘Prolouge’ and ‘Reapper.’ :) Now to start with, I don’t actually see a reason why you shouldn’t be able to ...

The view was beautiful, as the sun was just rising from the east comma hitting the snow, making a bright, blindingly breathtaking glow. "bright, blindingly breathtaking" is a bit much. ...

And now, for the second one. :) (by the way, ditto what I said at the beginning of the last one!) Perhaps if you don’t forget it, you’ll not make ...

My beautiful OE. I hate suspense. You are going to post more of this... soon... right? Isn't it just oh-so humorous? I don't really get that line, honestly. I hear ...

*huggles* I’m never too busy to do a review for my lovely Demi. :) This is pretty, and pretty simple, which you may have been going for, but if you ...

Hey Anzius. :) I thought this was quirky and cute. The plot needs a little work, but I suppose this is a prologue. It does grab the attention. I was ...

She was leaning up against the pump nonchalantly and staring at the clear afternoon sky. Nonchalantly. Is that necessary? She wore slight tight blue-jean shorts that hovered a few inches ...

Oh lord, I need more! Why did I have to get hooked on something that wasn't done... I that's right, because I wanted to read something good, and I saw ...

We sleep, little children, side by side in the bed, This line isn't quite clear as to whether you're addressing little children, or you're saying you were little children. Maybe ...

I actually feel kind of guilty about this. Why? Because I really can’t come up with anything to suggest, as far as changes. This is great. Well... alright, I do ...

The first thing I have to say is that I love the ending, the last about 7 lines. I don’t know if I interpreted them the way you meant, but ...